i love my life and i rocks

2007-09-08T01:03:00.000-07:00

today i dunno wad i really wanna sae la..
i jus wanna noe wad type of person m i la??
ppl pls tell me lei..
i wonderin m i selfish..emo(i think)..
aiya dunno la..
i veri confused abt wad ppl think of me la can..
why u guys lyk to sae abt me de..
but i jus wan to tell u tis:
i not goin to care abt wad u sae abt me la k..
so if u wan to sae go on lol..
i dun wan to care abt it oso la..
do ahead la why mus i bother so much u ppl sae ar?

godsisters..godkor..darlings thanz alot 4 ur help
thanz 4 being dere wif me all the time when i nid u guys..
i hope u guys will pass ur exam wif flyin colours..
take care n love ya..
byee

2007-09-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

durin the KL TRIP..
i so damm happy la can..
i buy alot of things lyk gifts all 4:
my godsisters...
my darling..
my family..
my frenz..
so damm happy buyin la can..
but i still hv to buy more gifts la..
cos i dun hv enough 4 all of them ma.
so i goin to buy 4 em this few days lol..
hahas..
damm fun la..
got nth to sae liao le lol..
byee guys..
i love u..
esp my darling n godsisters..

2007-08-30T06:48:00.000-07:00

abit sad today..

i cried in the bus wen all the sec3 all go to the

army open house..

i think no one noe tat i cried lol..

then i on the music until full blast..

i wonderin why i ceried at 1st la..

i noe why..

cos i feel lonely la..no one tokin to me can..

my good fren enjoyin wif their gang then left me out la

haiz i jus wonder whether i really hv frenz ard me or not lol can..

but in the end the trip to the army open house is damm fun la..

i wen to the xtreme world la can..

me zeb esther vicky n yen ton..

we wen to do the PFT so damm fun la..

hahas..after tat we wen to play flyin fox..

i 1st time try la can..

so damm scary la can..

3 lvl high can..i dun dare cum down at 1st la can..

then ppl downstairs supportin la..

hahas..

lyk the twin..zhou..yuwen..xiaojun..many more la..

thanz guys 4 ur support la can..

damm scary la..

and MR SENG u owe us pizza..

weiyaya dare to do he sae she dun dare end up weiyaya go play lol..

weiyaya nice one la..

iloveyou sia...

but i thing i dun lyk is we dun hv much time lol..

so damm little time to play onli la..

damm sad..

then i wonderin how is the day 2morrow lol..

i think i may damm sad lol..

cant post then i can chat wif my 2 darling lol..

then i dunno whether i can sms ppl or not la can..

but i got sth to tell me darling..

u 2 are the best la can..

iloveyou!

i hope tat the trip i will be damm happy de lol..

so ya..take care guys wen i not in singapore k esp my darling..

then mon got to go 4 trg la.

i think i will be damm tierd de lol can..

2007-08-29T06:23:00.000-07:00

2day so damm ediot la..
cos of sumone in 3c pissed me off lol..
make me feel so pissed la..
then after a few lessons over i dun care abt it liao le lol..
haiz why tis happen to me de lol.
nvm dun wish to tok abt it liao le lol..
today i dun really hv the mood to rite liao le..
wen for cip onli 1 hr..
nvr go 4 cheer..
sorry abt it ar guys frm 3 b tat i nver help u all wif the cheer..
so damm sorry..
i think i feel sad 4 the day lol..haiz sian la dunno wad to sae liao le

2007-08-28T06:53:00.000-07:00

27 AUG'07
today actually i cant go de..
but end up i still go lol..
all of us meet then all the volleyballers wen dere 2gether lol..
cedar lei..so wad they play veri good..
ppl dun sae we will lose to em..
at esle we try our best to fight for it can liao le..
does not matter we win or not lol..
is the process tat we go though is the most inportant part of all..
at esle we learn sth frm our mistakes k..
then poor mee ling is been hit at the head lol..
u ok ma?then so sorry to the cedar gal which my ball hit ur shoulder k..
so ya la..
wooo...really they are veri strong la..
veri ball spike spike lol..dunno lyk wanna kill ppl lyk tat lol..
tell u 1day chij sjc might be better than u guys in the future lol..
hahas..i hope tis day will cum soon..
i tell myself tat no matter wad i hv to control my emotion lol..
wen i hv my break i wen down i tell couch tat i go re-fill water..
end up i playin downstairs wif my godsisters n the sec1 lol..
hahas..
volleyballers dun be upset tat we lose to em k..
we mus prove to the rest tat we can do better than em k..
we cum back skool practise more k..
i love you guys!!

28AUG'07
early in the morin play volleyball lol..
then for the 1st lesson ppl pissed me off can..
wad is wrong wif my hair..
oso not ur hair worry so much for wad la..
sae sae sae..i dun lyk it k..
such s bloody bitch can..
then the mood is bad lol..
haiz sian lol..
2day rain the whole day then cant play volleyball outside lol damm sad can..
darling i hope u can be dere wif me can..damm sad n pissed lol..
hahas..nice to hv my godsisters n darling ard wif me..
then i will not be all alone by myself la..
thanz n i love u guys!!
take care of urself k guys..
cya in skool 2morrow then play volleyball 2morrow k..byee gtg now..
love ya..hugs n kisses jus 4 you!

2007-08-26T05:36:00.000-07:00

2day so damm shockin la can..
my family n i wen to compass lol..
u noe hu we saw ma??
MR SENG lei n his family la..
onli saw his younger son la..
then he walk towards my table la can..
then i hv a shock lol..i thought hu can..
pls la mr seng next time dun giv me a shock lol..
then my mum tok to him as usually..
my see any of my teacher she always does tat lol..
ask the teacher how i behave in class..
how is my result..
i good ma..
many more la k..
then my mum n mr seng face ar veri scary la can..
i hv no idea wad they are tokin la..
they keep on lookin at me dunno 4 wad la..
so ya..then i ask esther n angie wad they r tryin to sae lol..
cos we cant really hear wad they sae..
then i ask em whether i can go 2morrow ma?
then i hv no idea whether im goin or not lol..
but i really wan to go lol..
play friendly match wif cedar gals..
wonder SJC against CEDAR..
will we win em?
hu noe so ya..
gtg now pack my things for the KL trip tis cumin friday lol..
which it is oso TEACHER'S DAY!!
hahas..

2007-08-25T06:50:00.000-07:00

2day ar..

nth really happen lol..

but i wan to go on mon to cedar girls skool to play friendly match la can..

n my godsisters wan to 2go oso..

n myself i wan to go la can..

sum1 tel m e tat they are damm strong la..

the more i wan to prove em tat sjc volleyballers r oso good too..

we can win de is jus we dun really cooperate wif one another tats all lol..

dun worry we will improve on it oso de k..

we can show u guys we can do it de lol..

so ya..SJC volleyballers are united as one the next time u meet us sia..

hahas..we will prove it to u all de lol..

ppl sms me lei i veri bored lol..sms if can k..

i will love it de k..

n i wan u guys to noe tat

i care n love u guys hu i noe ard me de k..

i will treasure u guys well esp my godsisters n my darling sia..

hope u guys treasure it oso lol..

where would i b if my frenz n u were not der for me?

support..encouragement..movies..sleepovers..neoprints..

late nite call..laughter..n tears..

soon we will be separate wen we age,bringin our sweet n bitter memories along wif us

tears stream frm our eyes as we all graduate,

knowing we wil nvr be 2gether again..

so i really hope u guys treasure wads in front of u..

a star has 5 ends..

a square has 4 ends..

a triangle has 3 ends..

a line has 2 ends..

a life has 1 end..

a friendship has no end..

hope tat u will always treasure our friendship..

hope tat we will nvr lose em..

7 rules to be happy:

1>never hate

2>dun worry

3>live simple

4>expect a little

5>give alot

6>always smile

7>have a cute

fre..like me!!=)

bloody bitch la ..

2007-08-24T06:59:00.000-07:00

yesterday my parents slap me la..

damm freakin pain la can..

cos of my stupid sister of my..

then my parents sae tat u as the big sister

mus do a good role model 4em to learn..

hey i tell u i oso human lei will make mistake de can

n is lyk no my problem sae until it is my problem de lol..

then sae sae sae then sae umtil my study n then my cca..

so damm pissed of them la can..

helo my dear parents of my pls la..

u all noe i ove my cca if i dun go i dun lyk it de..

n is lyk im in the main 6 la..

i wan to play well lol now everything all so weak liao le can..

n i dun lyk it n i will feel veri pissed wif myself n make others angry de lol..

why cant they jus understand how i feel deep down de la..

i freakin sad la..

no one care abt me i can sae tat lol..

i veri confused la..why my parents always onli noe how to scold me not my sisters?

i hv already try to change liao le can..

then the match on mon wif the cedar gals i can play..

i so so wish to play can..i wan to not i dun wan..

my parents wan me to study la dun wan me go 4 cca anymore la can..

n cos of tis i fight wif em lol..

n i dun feel any freedom lol..

cant go out wif my frenz..

no choice to choose anything..

cant decide anything by myself instead everthing they choose 4 me..

n i dun lyk the way they do it la can..

n i dun hv they courage to tell emt tis la..

wonder wad will happen if i ask em can!!

then 2day in skool..

i cried in skool during ss la can..

recall abt wad happen yesterday lol..

then the whole day my mood was lyk so damm moody lol..

i saw my 2 darling but we nvr chat wif each other sia..

freakin sad oso lol..

BUT i love you!!

dun worry i will be dere wif u de no matter wad k..

then abt me nvm la dun care me oso can de..

i onli noe i sux lol..tats true i think..

4 periods of A maths la..

then we do questions as usually lol..

n durin the break we wen to the disturb the art students lol..hahas..

then we play volleyball in MR CHAN homeroom lol..

play wif yen ton..ujjal..zhou..cheryl..zeb lol..

then i feel tat esther dun lyk her 2day la cam..

so damm quiet lol 2day her not lyk her usual self can

but she sae nth happen lol..

so ESTHER take care k..

n i hope tat u will be hyper lyk b4 not lyk 2day la..

cos i not use to it n i lyk u to be hyper..

after skool sth happen tat whole thing happen in the ava room..

cos we hv meetin 4 the KL trip..

tat BLOODY BITCH..

so wad u big size ar?so wad i small size ar..

wads ur problem..n helo u are the 1 hu started wif it k not me..

if u dun hit i will not hit back k..

wad the shit u doin n u still shout at me so wad if u use the book is still the same k..

then i free so so damm pissed la can..

2007-08-23T06:22:00.000-07:00

i feel veri sad 2day lol..

frm trainin starts lol..

so ya la..why la can sumone jus tel me?

why does tis happen on me..

2day my spikin sucks..

service sucks..

recievin oso sucks..

all sucks la even me lol..

why tis why tis happen on me de.

i dun wan can..

can sth jus happen on me so all tis will not happen to me liao le?

2007-08-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

today i cry but no one noe durin CME..
n mr seng nvr cum to skool 2day..
haiz i feel so damm extra in the class sia..
i lyk no frenz lyk tat can..
durin CME..
i sit all alone by myself la can..
the rest all sit in their groups la can..
then wen i join em so damm extra lol..
so i decided to sit all by myself..
i cryin n listenin to music lol..
haiz why my life lyk tat de..

wad is love to u guys ar..
pls tell me k..
i really wan to noe..
hey wonder wen i wil be in love sia..
hahas..
hey guys intro more frenz to me k..
if u wan to la..
so ya not nvm de..
haiz gtg now liao le..

2007-08-21T05:23:00.000-07:00

20 Aug'07

we went to queenway sec skool la..

walao the skool is lyk much much bigger than our skool can..

then is lyk so damm cool lol..

i hope tat my skool is lyk their skool can..n

they have 2 volleyball court la can..

then the guys sum are cute can..

sorry if i abit out of mind la..

but jus sae sae onli la..

not i lyk em k dun get the wrong idea..

is naturally tat gals lyk guys wad..

hahas..then we play wif em all draw lol..

seniors n juniors 2-2..hahas..see>>

chij sjc volleyballers are powerful sia..

so ya la..so u dun cum n offend us k..

hahas..jokin..then i injured my ankle n my hand..

damm pain lol..

then weiyaya ar..

u ar fall fall fall..

i cum scold u if u fall again u look at ur leg ar..

u n esther the same de lei..

hahas i noe i oso k all of us lyk to fall so much..

then my dear mei mei angie make until her hand sia..

21 Aug'07

today i wen to play volleyball early in the mornin..

wif patty koko larissa zeb but ham nadia rocehelle carrisa gael..

hahas..

then recess at 1st onli me n zeb play my volleyball..

then gael join zeb so is 2 against 1 nvm de its ok wif me..

hahas

then i ask xuan sae dun wan but in the end she play

xuan n gael gd frenz sia pair up..

me n zeb pair up lol..

fun la..

but i think my relationship wif my team mates are gettin better not lyk b4..

hahas is true la..

last time i seldom tok to a group of ppl but now hv liao le lol..

hahas..i think tis is jus teamspirt ba..

hahas but anyway i love u guys lots n lots sia..

then i write alot of letter to ppl lol..

so damm fun writtin letter to ppl can..

i love letters ppl feel free to write me 1 k..

i will surely reply u all back de..

byee..gtg now..see u guys 2morrow then..

I LOVE MY VOLLEYBALL !!!

2007-08-19T06:19:00.000-07:00

18 Aug'07

today is family day..

so damm fun la can..
my class sell hotdogs lol..
cool lol..at 8am i in skool liao le n i bring my ball.. we play awhile lol in the mornin can..

but my ball lyk no air de can..

then i giv mr send help me pump then he sae cant find it in e end nvr pump..

hahas..so damm sad can my ball no air de..

not fun to play lol..
then durin the process tat we are sellin do damm fun lol but tired lol..

then i took sum pictures lol:
then we do frm 8-11.30 lol..
so damm tired lol then we wen to haunted house to play we wen in 2times..

thanz alot esther yeo!!

help us pay 4 it..

hahas..not scary de lol inside..

but anyway is damm fun la..

but weiyaya u ok not bang the door..

ppl hu wen in wif me u all ok ma??

becareful la..then at 1st sum of us lyk freakin scared lol shout n shout lol..

hahas..but in the end lyk not tat scary can..

after tat sum of us start to play volleyball lol..

wen to e gym play..

at 1st onli:me..but..koko..ham..elina..

then after tat esther jaswee weiyaya gina cum in and play wif us sia.

hahas..so damm fun but inside me not tat happy..

me esther weiyaya jaswee mee ling wen to compass est lol..

then we wen to eat pizza lol..

i spend until $11 lol jus 4 tat so damm ex lol can..

then i saw my darling n i chat wif her awhile..

she wan to giv me rose at 1st de then i dun wan it

call her to save it 4 herself lol..hahas..cos i think she love it more lol..so ya..

then we eat finish esther n jaswee siao de lol..

sae darling n honey..then after tat all of us wen to e toliet lol..

me weiyaya n mee ling we wait outside wif em lol..then they suddenly dunno go where..

we call they sae at 1st floor the we go up they cum down..

we heck care em then we wen all e way up lol..

after tat we wen in comics connection..sth happen in dere..

esther propose to her lao po..

esther knee down wif e rose lol..

hahas so damm funny lol..

i wil not 4got abt wad happen 2day lol..esther u n ur laopo..

but weiyaya so damm shy lol..

then i wen back home lol..

19 Aug'07

my i cry 2day lol..

cos my mum deleted all my files in the computer lol..

so damm sad lol alot of my important stuff all deleted lol..

but nvm la..mum its ok i will do em all over it again lol..

darling i veri e upset lol..

no one dere wif me tat i can depend on lol..

shoulders to cry on lol..

wad can i stil do..

i think wad i can do is keep quiet lol..

haiz anyone out dere to help me ma??

no one care 4 me at all lol..

now lyk cryin lol..hu care u tell me..

anyone out dere help me pls..

2007-08-17T03:32:00.000-07:00

4 the past few days i feel so damm upset lol..

i wonder how is one of my darling la lyk so damm long nvr see her liao le can..

and then sms her she oso dun reply me back lol..

and i abit worry abt her la can..

wonder wad the heck she is doin lol..

how is she feelin tis few days la..

no one tell me can..

haiz darling ar..

if u got anything pls feel free to cum find to talk to me lei ..

i dun mind de lol really..

i jus wan ppl to noe me cum to me if u all nid help la

PLS CUM TO ME!!!

if u all rite wan sum1 to tok to pls chat wif me in msn or sms me k..

i will surely chat wif u de k..

then 2morrow family day liao le..

my class sellin hotdogs la can..

then i feel lyk bring my volleyball go skooll play

but i think my ball lyk abit no air lol..

hahas but i hope tat mr seng will help me pump my ball lol..

i will be in skool abt 8 liao le ..

to help the class to set up stall hope tat our stall is the best of all can..

i really hope that our class make the most $$$$...

hahas..i noe i abit siao siao de so ya la..

my darling i love you!!!

godsisters i love u all too!!!

hahas..

i love the ppl hu noe me !!

take care all see u guys 2morrow then..

2007-08-14T05:14:00.000-07:00

13 Aug'07

durin trainin:

we play outdoor under the damm hot sun la..

we hv to run 10 rounds la..

then is lyk so damm tired la..

but i still veri high..

ithen we hv to be in grp of 3..

then me weiyaya jaswee..

then play play play..

i fall then i make until my knee is lyk damm pain can..

then i injured myself again..

i siao siao de can..

i lyk to fall down ar..

hey u noe wad ppl..

can call me fallin queen or split queen liao le can..(but i cant do split)

hahas..if u wan call me tat its ok wif me anyway..

14AUG'07

then lynda ar meimei ar..

u dun cum and hit my knee lei is damm painful de can..

and i cried cos is lyk so damm pain lol can..

haizz but the next time dun hit k..

hahas..i love sec1 volleyballers u all rocks my life lol lots and big time..

today nth really happen la is jus today i think i hvin mood swing tats all..

int he hall tat time i cry not cos or vicky is sum ppl else..

sorry vicky is not u k..so ya..

i love all the volleyballers u ppl rocks my life..

and i will not forget my 2 darling i hv lol..

i will rmd u all de..

and i will treasure tis frenship tat we hv all along..

so hope u all oso treasure wad we hv now..

dun wiat liao le..

ppl rmd to show more love n comcern to the quiet ones and the ppl hu are alwasys alone k..

mayb they are the one hu are truely to u we may not noe..

so ya..

I LOVE U GUYS HU CARE 4 ME!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YU WEN!!!

2007-08-11T07:26:00.000-07:00

nth really happen la..
cos the whole day at home..
tats all lol..
sian lol..but oso no one to sms ot tok to lol..
haiz sian la..byee..

2007-08-10T07:10:00.000-07:00

8 Aug'07
do u noe wad u sae do hate me alot..
u sae tis to me:
no one noe u well includin ME!
and u sae this no one care or noe abt u..
wad abt me i do care and i noe abt u can..
I M NOT TRANSPARENT!
do i look transparent to u..
u tell me do i?
if i do pls sae..
i will not bother abt u ANYMORE..
i care la can i CARE lol..
i find whether sumtimes do u even understands how i feel la can..
ur words do hurt me but i dun wan u to be even more upset..
so i didn't sae anything..i noe u are damm upset tat time so i cant blame u 4 sayin all tat to me..
i dun bother abt it anymore..
i jus wan to tel u if u got problem pls feel free to find me and tok abt it..
i love u always so ya no matter how u treat or hurt me..

9 Aug'07
i wen to maria bay for perforance la..
then we put the make up all..
i took lots of pictures wif my frenz..
cos it is the last day we can dance 2gether la..
damm sad lol..and then sum of the teachers cried la can..
hahas..so damm touchin ar..they sae tat we perform until veri nice la..
but sad la i hvin fever tat day and i dun hv mood lol..
and then my darling(opy) not in s'pore damm sad oso..
haiz..now i damm miss her la and i cant sms her lol..
i think we lyk damm crazy can..
frm the time we go dere keep on takin pictures la..
but most of the pic im not inside onli sum onli..
sad can but nvm la..
if ppl wan to take pic wif me then take lol if not i jus keep quiet lol..
wad can i still do..nvm lol wad can i still do u tell me...
heck care la..

10 Aug'07
nth really happen to day..i jus feel sad tats all..
cos i feel tat no one care abt me liao le even my darling..
i jus feel the my heart is begin slash a veri deep deep cut..
nvm lol it jus nid time to heal tats all lol..
nth liao le..
2day i dun hv the mood to post..cos i damm upset wif myself..
i wan to change i dun wan to be trap in my world again anymore..
so byee..
i noe i cant make anyone ard me happy so ya ppl pls take care of urself..
i cant even make my darling happy ..im such a failure sia..

tis is the way u wan to treat me is it?

2007-08-08T05:30:00.000-07:00

this is the way u wan to treat me la..

so ahead lol..u jus tryin to hurt me lots lol.

tis is wad i wan to tel u tis..

no matter how much u hurt in inside ar..

once u are my darling always one la..

so pls u wan to hurt me go ahead lol..

i dun mind abt it anymore..

the most important thing rite..

is u happy can liao i dun mind im the 1 hu get hurt..

so pls be help ma darling..

u help help u can always cum find me de la..

i willin to help u can no matter wad happen in between us lol can..

i always love my 2 darling of my can..

u 2 are the best of all la can..

and my godsisters la..

no matter wad i will still be dere wif u..

wadeva path u choose to be alone or wad i will still be dere wif u to walk the path de..

i will not dump u all aside de..i will be dere to help and i hope u willin to share all

those unhappy stuff wif me la..pls share wif me dun keep everything to urself..

u will get hurt de and it make me feel damm sad and painful inside de can darling..

pls i wan ppl around me to be happy and i will be happy de lol..

u all sad i oso sad de can..

so pls pls be happy all the times..

i tell u wad..

even u sae u happy outside i oso noe u are sad inside de can..

pls let me help u along tis path u choose can..

ppl if u nid my help pls cum to me la..

i will be willin to help u all anyway..

and u all oso help me so much in the past now is the time 4 me to help u guys liao le..so ya..

pls promise me tat all of u hu noe me plspls take good care of urself k..

byee gtg now liao go study my lit liao le..

2morrow national day liao le so damm scared tat i dance wrong can..

hahas..and sth to sae im not pretty or wad the onli thing i noe im damm ugly tats all..

hahas..i pretty ur head la..wen i pretty u tel me im not i noe can...

sorry darling(sharifah)nvr sae good byee to u..

u noe wad i heard frm sum1 tat opy is goin to tranfer skool lei..

now how wad can we help her..

so damm sad if she leave i cant get to see her la..

now she not in s'pore la can go oversea..

how wad are we surpose to do now darling?

damm sad if she is not around wif us can..

i will cry de lol..

and u noe wad she havin problems now la..

we find time out see whether we can help her not k?

ST. ELIZABETH ROCKS BIG TIME..

we win 2day damm fun la can..

we hv inter house singin competition la..

at 1st i dun think our hose not goin to win can st emilie sing damm nice la..

hahas..u all oso rocks la..hahas..all the houses we rocks big time..

green red blue yellow houses all rocks k!

2007-08-07T06:41:00.000-07:00

2day nth really happen lol..

but 2day in the skool hall damm fun la can..

ppl dance lol..damm nice la..

wonder i will be siao if i dance sia..

hahas..crazy ar ma..

the mr sim..mr lim..mrs chan..others more

dance ar hahas dancers ar u all funny lol wen u all dance..

nice try anyway lol..

DUN GIVE UP HALF WAY K

keep on tryin till u get it..

u will sure make it de..

darling(pei yun)

im so damm sorry tat i hit u at ur back so damm hard ar..

how is ur back?

ok ma so damm sorry lei..

i totally 4gotten abt it liao ur back sth wrong..

so sorry gf..hahas..my darling is gf siao hahas..

always love u lots..

darling(sharifah)

u oso dun worry i will not 4get abt u..

how are u gf ar..

all my darling are my gf..

hahas

2007-08-06T06:08:00.000-07:00

so damm stress wif my cca and my class matters la..
haiz i when i become the junior good role model..
no lol where got la..
wad my spiking...service?
wad crap?
i where got good can..
hahas..not cos i look down on myself lei..
is sumthimes is really no surrport ma then i can help to ma.
encouragement ar..hahas..i where got so good..
dun sae until i so good la..no lol..
hu agree la u tell me onli u ar..hahas..
so damm sian lol..
help if u wan to la..
help me solve things lei..
sumtimes i really feel so damm lonely in my life can..
i noe u wan to sae i emo again ar..
i not emo k for ur info..

darling so damm miss u all lol can..
so love my two darling lol..
sharifah and pei yun..hahas..
you 2 are the ones no matter wad happen to me always dere wif me..
i will treasure u 2 proper de i dun wan to lose my darling at all lol..
so rmd to take care of urself k.
dun worry so much abt me k..
i promise i will take care de..
slp dreams slp tight..
cover ur blanket dun catch cold..
to the ppl hu cum to my blog..

i mostly i will miss you guys big time and love u guys lot and lots..
we rock on k..i dun wna to bpother wad ppl sae abt me liao le..
i care abt u 2 ang godsisters and ppl hu care 4 me can liao le..
byee
kiss 4 you guys..byee

why this lei?

2007-08-03T06:04:00.000-07:00

haiz i feel tat sum of my frenz are ignorin me la can..
and i feel not belong to any group of frenz lol can..
haiz..why tis lei?
i admit tat i anti-social so wad..
sumtimes i jus ask myself why m i lyk tat de lei?
ppl dere is sumthing tat i wanna tell..
i lose hope of doin things..
no more confident liao
no mood in anything..
jus feelin tat ppl around me dun really noe me at all..
i noe im irritatin sorry if im i will not disturb u all anymore..
no one care 4 me tats the best cos i not worth it so ya..
ya im emo la happy..keep on sayin im emo..
fine la im a emo kid tat no one wan to mix wif happy now..
i no frenz ke yi le ma?

damm sad and lonely happy now..
abt u ppl hv done to me..
make a veri big change in my life lol..
so wad i noe no one care abt me liao..
the onli perso hu care abt me is myself..
all i onli can depend on is myself..
frenz i hv is still myself..
myself to depend on the hv a better life in the future lol..
no one wanna help me in this so i decided
to walk this path of road myself liao ..
i will not depand on anyone anymore..
u ppl jus wan to bring me harm tats all i noe..
u ppl will not try to share wad u hv wif me..
love corcern care..all..
4get it lol nvm i hv it myself i dun wan urs...

i lose everything in life..
wad can i still do u tell me la can..
i think i nid to find sum1 to tok to everytime liao le..
sum1 willin to be dere 4 me..
a shoulder for to cry on..
sum1 to cheer me up wen the emo gal is down..
sum1 dun look down on me "emo gal"
i dunno wad to sae now...
dunno how to sae the rest lol..
my life jus white and black now..
no life in anything..
useless cant help anyone..
hopeless cant do anything rite..
failure cant pass anything..
EVERYTHING JUS LOSE LYK IN 1MIN CAN..
everything lei..gone i think they will not cum back to me liao le can..

as wad my darlin sae to me jus now..
she sae until alot of time liao ..
tis is wad she sae to me..
so wad if her make me happy
she jus dun feel i happy..
she cant stand it
i noe it 4 myself..
see wad i sae i jus worthless and hopeless ard my frenz all..
sorry darling im really sorry to make u feel so pissed wif me..
wad my darling tell me is true la..i cant blame her oso..
why mus i always bother abt wad other sae abt me
why i dun give myself the freedom to chosse but let others choose 4 me..
i have to cum up wif my decision to do wad i wan wad i lyk..
and i should stick to it...
NOW I CHOOSE:
i will not bother abt wad ppl sae abt me..
i jus do wad i lyk wad i feel lyk doin tats all..
thanz opy..thanz alot 4 ur help..make me awake..
so it will not be to late 4me..
i will promise tat i will do it jus 4 u k..
thanz..love u darling..
i will not break this promise de..i will not de..
sorry to u anyway darling

2day:

2007-08-02T07:03:00.000-07:00

2day i totally 4gotten abt my shoe bag lol..

i leave it at my common test homeroom..

and then inside dere is a class then i dun dare to go in lol..

so damm scary la i think tats the sec1 ba..

then lucky liz cum then i call her help mr take my shoe bag lol..

so love u liz thanz alot 4helpin take my shoe bag..

my shoe bag is veri important to me lol..

then i go 4 trainin..

2day so damm little ppl lyk can..

so not fun lol..so sian..

then 2day i keep on doin split lol..damm pain lol..

then jus now vanessa serve then the ball hit directly on my eyes lol..

then it hurts lyk hell can jus now..my vision damm blur lol..

but now and really tat pain liao le lol..

mrs wrong have a great tok wif us b4 we go lol..

she sae mus rmd this carefully la:

EVERY LITTLE THINGS CAN AFFECT PPL AROUND US..

so i think i noe im 1 of em lol..

hv to control my emotions la can i think im the 1 always cos all those unhappiness in my team de lol so ya la..

2day the mood i dunno whether is it sad or happy lol..

all my frenz call me not to slash myself la..

as i hv a thinkin of doin it lol..

but i think is harmful to me la i oso noe la..

but i hv reason of hvin a thinkin to do la..

the reason u ppl hv to find out urself lol if u wanna noe..

ppl can i ask u all sth:

if i wanna cry can sum1 lend me their shoulders to lend on ma?

jus ask not nvm de jus ask for fun tats all..

haix..sumtimes i feel tat me myself is such a

failure..loser..why lei i oso dunno so dun ask me..

i jus wann ask:

do u ppl really noe how i feel deep inside me ma?

mus i tell u all then u all then will noe..

or u ppl jus find out lei??

my darling ar take care of urself la..

call u take care dunno wan now sick liao le lol..

happy now..

u 2 is a mus 4 u all to be happy...

nvm if im not happy k..if u all happy i will feel abit happy de lol..

so i hope tat i can be the 1 hu can help u brighten up each and everyday of ur life..

take care my frenz now is the time 4 me to slp liao le..

see u all 2morrow..

kelli wu how is ur knee..im so damm sorry ar..

take care oso k..

importantly..

all volleyballers do take good care of urself k..

we hv to work hard to have sth to the skool tat we can do it de..

prove them wrong and not to look down on the volleyballers in SJC..

2day:still sad lol..

2007-08-01T05:52:00.000-07:00

why mus ppl cum spam my blog ar..

haiz..why ..they got nth to do is it..

4 fun ar..then cum my blog insult my dear frenz and esp insult my skool..

i hate ppl to do tat lol..insult me skool 4 wad..

insult my frenz 4 wad..got nth to do ..find sth to do la..ppl hu spam ppl's blog sucks lol..

why ppl always lyk to do this 2me?

sae things tat hurts me so much and my frenz..

haiz is it cos of me u ppl do tis to me?

ppl i think i dun irritated u all liao le..

i dun mind to be alone by myself anyway..

cos i used to tis life liao le..

cos frm sec 1- now..i think till my sec skool life ba..

should i stay away frm anyone now..

stay away frm the world beyond my thinking..

should i do tis so everytime i will be anti-social?

as wad i always sae..

my world onli black and white..

dark..lonely..scary to live in de..

onli me can fit in dere i dun think u ppl wanna go in and live wif me rite..

so ya..alone lol..nvm de..

seldom ppl care whether im dere or not make no difference to them all..

so why i lyk to bother abt all tis..

cos all i wan is ppl to noe im dere im not transparent de lei..

i sumtims i oso ask do they really treat me as their fren or not la can..

i jus feel lyk cryin always wen my frenz lyk so damm close to 1 another wen im not..

nvm lol..they will sae i mus be open dun be a anti-social person la..

no point de can i dun be anti-social i oso dun fit in lol..

so i onli stay wif the ppl which i find is better 4me..

lets sae my team lol..

ppl frm sec 2 n 3 i seldom tok to em oso..

onli tok to thee ppl which is the sec1s lol..

i think they understand how i feel la and wad i think sumtimes lol..

ppl which noe me longer dunno..ppl jus cum in noe me so much..

haiz no point tat i continue lol..

i wan to cry laio wen tis topic starts..

zebi dun cry liao k no point cry over it too..

BIG GAL DUN CRY ONLI SMALL GAL CRY..

i think the ppl hu carea more abt me are:

my family

godsisters

darling

they are the one onli i think lol..

no one else liao le i think..tats all..

sea byee to me my frnez the old me die liao le...

the new me is here..the loner and anti-social gal is born liao..

noe why i always think tis way cos ppl keep tellin me

im emo..anti-social..irritatin..dun respect me at all de ppl..

ppl hu wan me to be ard then awhile dump me aside dun care abt me lol..

is u ppl cause this to me de..which i actuall dun wan de..

i have to choice to be me lyk tat now rite..

anyone willin to help me to change do help me make my life a better place 4me..

make my life to be happy not sad..

haiz i dunno la i think u ppl willn oe hu i actually feel if u are in my shoes..

tats wad i can sae..

sae byebye to me patricia..

i noe i left a scar behind me wad can i do is jus continue wif the life i hv now lol...

wad can i still do u sae la..

2day:not really happy

2007-07-31T06:34:00.000-07:00

i not lyk to day lol....
sadness has always cum to me to make me feel so damm lonely..
once i step into the skool i will noe how my day is goin to be after all..
sadness..darkness.loneliness..
all alone by myself at one corner in one room aall by myself..
i noe my whole life onli and tis 2 colours:
black and white..tats all..
i feel lyk cryin any1 out dere wan to lend me ur shoulders??

sad is the word i noe..
my dic onli have the word sad not happy..
onli sumtimes happy is in my dic tats all..
can ppl tell me why tis happenin to me?

no one care whether im around or not..
i think i does not make any difference to anyone ard me lol..
DARLING im so damm sorry abt it..
sorry to disppoint u...
u noe wad i hv a thinkin od dyin now can..
penknife is lyk calling to me to to him la..
so ppl jus let me die i dun make any difference to anyone oso..
so wad if im emo is oso not ur bussiness rite..
so busybody 4 wad u tell me?
i no longer the person u noe me b4 ppl..
i change liao le..
the person hu u noe in the past die liao le..
and importantly:
the best thing is i quit volleyball this may not happen..
sorry guys if i trouble u all so much hope tat u all 4give me..
and accept me can?then new me tats all..

sad lol 2day!

2007-07-30T05:09:00.000-07:00

haiz damm sad lol 2day..

2day go pei cai secondary skool play friendly..

so sian la can..

i play and i run 4 the ball my hand which is injured previously can..

now damm pain la can..then i think i at 1st i should not go at all la can..

ppl dere i dun think they appreciate wad i do la can..

i hink i dun wan go trainin liao le la..

i go lyk nvr go lyk tat..

couch scold and scold and is lyk i nvr go trg 4 a week lei and my hand havent recover i still go lei..

then i reach home get scolding frm my parents la can..

wad kind of ppl are u all ar?

i have family problem and frenz problem..

still havent solve i still go trg lei..

i love this cca can..and then u ppl lyk wan me to hate tis cca can..

tats me in the bus so damm lonely can jus now..

in tat pic tats me can..sittin at one corner no1 to tok to liao..

i begin alone all tis while can in the team sometimes same in my cca...

i dunno wad to do liao le can..

cryin now can hu care u tel me hu care 4 me?

no one rite agree wif tat k..

ppl do i hv any good points list them to me if have?

i find myself lyk a veri big failure..loser..loner..emo la i noe..

so ya..why this happen to me?

should i slash myself?

i feel lyk doin sth silly since no one care much abt me..

whether im der or not does not make any difference can..

really anyone hu read tis tell me la..

i dun make any difference rite..

if u dun agree why lei?

i hv no good points can..

i dun have rite..

if u sae i hv tell me can i wanna noe whether is it true or not

love me love me not..

miss me miss me not..

kiss u kiss u not..

slash me slash me not...

i die k ppl..

i die so ppl will 4get abt me liao le..

2007-07-29T07:06:00.000-07:00

saturday: 28 july2007

yesterday i was lyk so damm happy la can..
we took alots of pictures can..

i think tat all of us look so wonderful and pretty la can..

sorry abt tat i thick skin de i noe sumtimes..

so damm pretty la can..

so love it lol..ILOVE NDP LOTS..

but dere was lyk so much mud dere..

my white shoes was lyk so so damm dirty liao le can..

hahas..but was fun der la..

2day nth really happen la..but feel bored abit sad tats all.

cos i cant sms ppl much cos ppl dun reply me back..

ppl dun reply my letter la.damm sad lol..

ppl can u all jus reply my sms and my letter asap ma..

i wan it can..pls i wan it..

sian lol now..

ppl will u all miss me and love me if i will be be around u all de ma??

can let my noe wads ur ans ma?

hahas..iloveme..i love myself lots...

and I ROCKS BIG TIME..

love me ok ppl..

mostly i miss my 2 darlings and my godsisters all..

love u all and u all rocks big time..

cryin day lol..

2007-07-27T04:24:00.000-07:00

haiz sian la..
someone sae tat i always angry and pissed wif the class la..
wen i hear tis wad she sae is true la im lol..
haiz i dun bother abt it liao le can..
the class dun appreciate it then i dun care abt u ppl liao le..
tats finally..no more..
so i will care for the ppl hu appreciate me lots..
love u ppl hu appreciate me big time..
tats wad i will do frm now lol..
wad for i go waste my efforts on ppl hu dun appreciate me lei..
i mus well dun waste it..

today so many ppl cried in my class can..
so damm scary lol..which i dun really lyk to see lol..
damm scary my good frenz cryin scary sia not onli her still hv lol.
ppl if u all nid a shoulder im willin to lend u my shoulders to lean on lei..
really i mean it..cum find me if u wan k..
i promise i will oso be a good listener too..
hahas..ppl if i nid 1 2 will u ppl do the same to me??
i think i abit siao siao de lol..
i wonder hu appreciate me ar?jus wanna noe..
at least i noe hu to care more hu i should not bother then..

after skool..
me yenton esther and zeb..
go down frm 3lvl..wen we cum down tat time u noe wad we saw?
we saw suhan zebi's dad..my godsis..hahas..
so damm happy can..
hey mei u owe me 2letters lol..better pass it to me 2morrow durin NDP..
wan sweet cum find me ok mei i willin to giv u lol.
ppl frm grp 11 and 12 too cum find me if u all wan lol..
after i chat wif suhan i went back home straight lol..
i nvr eat in skool sia..dunno wad to eat oso so sian le lol.
2day i eat bee hoon and wanton 4 dinner lol..
i help to do the wanton can onli me and my mum do.
the rest jus help us eat can liao le.hahas..
hu wan next time i do 4 u all to eat..
if u dare to eat la..not its ok de..hahas..
tats all for the day..
nth really happen to me la..
i jus veri happy tat if i can see my godsis..
it is nice to have em..feel happy wen they are ard me lol..
i feel begin love and care..hahas
here i goes again nvm i think i better dun continue liao le..
byee have to do my maths liao le..
love my godsisters and me more then i love u lol..jokin onli..
love ppl hu concern abt me all lol..same goes to the teachers..
esp i love my darling and godsisters the most in my life..
rock on ppl..u are the best of all..
but importantly i rocks more dun u agree wif tat too..
hahas..okok fair for all..
all of us rocks than the ppl hu sucks(sorry abt the sucks word)

i hate 2day!

2007-07-26T05:53:00.000-07:00

durin CD..
my class discuss wad kind of design they wan 4 the class shirt..
abt 1period over i get abit pissed wif the class la..
wad design tat zed pong and frenz design they dun wan it..
then i call them design lol..
the class dun wan to work wif me so i shouted..
then they sae shout wad shout u shout up 1st lol..
they i keep quiet lol..
1person how to fight wif the class..
i wen back my place to do my maths lol..
i onli bang my pencil box on the table onli wad..
then the tay yu wen shout at me me sae:patricia can u dun show attitude ma?
the ok i keep quiet nvm i dun bother..
then my chair missin they i sit on the floor...
then i decide to cry to release the stress i have and the anger inside me tats all la ..
then ppl sae tat all i wan is ppl ard to pity me and to have attention frm them la..
and is lyk i nvr sae i wan rite..
wads u ppl the problem..i cry not cos of tat can..
can u ppl sae wad happen not b4 u all cum scold me ma?
i oso have feelin de can..
u ppl jus make my life veri hard la..
4 u ppl to noe begin a monitor is lyk not tat easy can
hav to keep the class quiet if not we are they ones hu will get all the scoldins 1st can..
cant u ppl jus spare me a thought ma..
i veri the stress to control the class liao le lei..
always im the onli 1 shoutin lyk hell in the class the other 3monitors dun shout as u ppl noe..
is not i lyk to shout lei i shout later i hv sore throat is me lei im the 1 hu will have de lei..
ppl i tell u all..
if u ppl dun wan me to continue to be monitor tell me la..
i tell the teachers tat i step down lol..
then u ppl no nid me to shout liao le lol...
they i bet u ppl will be damm happy abt it de rite..

after skool i saw suhan then i tok to her..
to let out the stress tat i have inside me la..
after tokin to her i feel abit relax lol..
havin her as my godsister is fun and i lyk her as my godsis..
i find tat sum times she reaaly understand how i really feel deep down lol..
suhan thanz for begin a good listener ar..
happy to hv u ard help me wif all the problems i have lol gal u rocks la..
if i dunno u i dunno hu i will really tel any1 abt all this can..
help me to be not tat stressful i have in the beginin can.

durin trg..
i not tat happy oso la..
cos i still cant play la can..
cos of my hand still not totally recover yet lol..
then mon goin sum skool to play friendly match..
but i so damm scared lol is lyk i 1week nvr trg liao le can..
hahas..but i can do it de lol..
ppl believe in me tat i can do it de..

I M NOT EMO..
i jus stress tats all..not emo ok ..
totally not emo at all k 4 ur info..

havin mood swing i think..i siao le lol..

2007-07-25T05:58:00.000-07:00

i cried 2 times 2day la can..
my fren go press my hand la..
and it is lyk so damm painfull can..
then another of my fren is push me then i go knock onto sth..
damm pain la can..
ppl still bully me can..
wen i injured my hand..
wad so funny abt i injured my hand..
u ppl try la..ur hand injured ur frenz keep laughin abt u..
how will u ppl feel abt it..
i dun lyk u noe..is painful can..
wad i wanna do oso cannot do la..
i wan to go 4volleyball cannot..PE oso cannot..
let me feel so damm bored la can..
im lyk a sports person suddenly i cant do sports cos of my hand..
i feel veri weird de la..really i not lyin lol..is true..

still feelin sad 4 the day can..
i dun lyk ss la can..
my frenz sae i change liao le..
ya so wad i change i use hp or mp3 player..
i oso human lei so wad im a monitor!
i lyk it can liao le can..
no nid to ask u ppl de can..
i wan to have a shoulders to let me lie on can..
hu will be the one willin to let me lie on their shoulders..
if can can u tel me ma i really nid 1 for tis period of time..
wen i keep on begin sad moody mood swing all..
pls anyone out dere wish to lend me..

durin NDP..
i not tat happy la..
i cant do i onli sit down dere onli..
see ppl do..so cool can..spot their mistake lol..
esp stephaine soon la..u ppl nvr see wad she do damm funny can..

AFTER NDP:
damm happy cos i saw my godsisters all..
they make me feel so happy la can..
i saw sharifah my darling and my godsis suhan..
love em sia..
so fun i go mess up godsis's hair la..
she not angry wif me..hey wen i see u can i do tat?
hope u dun mind abt it la..if u mind pls tel me..
i dun wan my godsisters not happy wif me de so ya..a mus ar..

tats why i love to have godsisters lol..
they sometimes wen i see em automatic happy liao le can if im sad..
u all do rocks my life and brighten up my day of my la..
see u ppl i happy if i dun i will be sad de lol..
really if i at least see u all i feel better de...
so i love u all...love godsisters all..

2007-07-24T03:24:00.000-07:00

damm sad 2day...tats the mood 4 the day..
i will be transparent to people around me liao le..
ONCE A LONER..ALWAYS A LONER..
i cant change the fate given to me..
so hate lessons during physics class la can..
i keep on shoutin lyk hell..then they dun bother la..
so damm noisy lol then they keep on playin ans playin
then is lyk im transparent to them can..
IM NOT TRANSPARENT AT ALL LA..

is lyk begin a monitor so damm hard la..
then at the same time i have to study harder and prove my parents wrong..
so damm stress i cant take this anymore la can..
i oso not tat willin to be a monitor..is not i wan de..
is teachers call meto do de can..
why u ppl frm 3b are jus tryin to drive me more and more crazy?
cant u ppl understand how i feel?
veri busy always hav to help u ppl..
call u all to keep quiet all..
hey i alone i cant do all this lei..we are as a class..
sth to ask 3B ppl:
u ppl treat me lyk tat u ppl wanna take over my place?
u ppl wanna drive me crazy rite?
if tis is the way i dun mind tat i step down de lei..

i veri stress wif all tis..
why so damm stress now la can..
i veri stress this few days cant really do things rite!
i give up ok ma?
VERI THE STRESS..
i dun wan to be in tis way of living la can..
my heart broken to pieces liao le..
leave a scar behind liao ..no point tat i recover rite?
veri stress 4 me veri..
hu care 4 me so much u tell me..

even in my cca i not lyk last time lyk tat liao le lei..
i feel tat my interest in volleyball not lyk hw i was interested de..
always go 4 cca..if i nvr go lyk alot of trg i miss..
feel veri uncomfortable de la..
tell me hu can sae tat u or who ever noe alot abt me..
noe how i really feel deep inside me?
no one rite..100% no one really understand me la can..

i feel tat i totally change liao le..
i lyk no longer patricia..feel more lyk a loner liao le..
hu cares so mush 4 me no one ..
so why i still care 4 myself..
i think of ill treatin myself lei..
lyk cuttin myself..slashin...
dun eat anythings..
tats me i think..

sad lol 2day!

2007-07-23T05:45:00.000-07:00

i feel damm sad 2day la can..
i cant play volleyball or go for pe la..
i wan to go can..
cos of my hand i cant go..
tat ESTHER YEO scold me 2day..
she dun let me take the tables la can..
cos she sae my hand injured still can to take tables..
i dun wan la..i oso wanna help them to put the tables and chairs..
haiz wadeva lol esther yeo..
u and ur laopo keep on fallin and fallin..
tell me to take care of myself u 2 oso keep fallin..
then u ppl oso have to take care of ur hand oso can..
so ya i take care of myself u 2 oso have to take care of urself oso la can..

people i dun lyk myself liao le..
i feel lyk i loser la can..
damm left out frm my frenz all can..
cum to group work i always no group de..
my heart really hurt la can..
why tis always always happen on me de la..
i dun wan can i dun wan it..
and i dun wan ppl to pity me la..
NO ONE LYK ME I NOE ALL I CAN DO IS ACCEPT THE FATE I HAVE TATS ALL..
i dunn wish to bother u ppl liao le....
since u ppl dun really appreciate wad 4 i still bother abt it so much..
then from 2day onwards i will not cum disturb u ppl liao le..
u ppl dun appreciate wad i have done..
i think i have no point so continue to be so damm nice to u all rite..

i wil not care abt anyone now..then ppl hu i goin to care are:
all my godsisters..
family members..
sec1s frm my cca..
ppl hu really really care abt me onli..
the rest of them i not goin to care abt le..
u ppl dun really care abt me wad4u ppl still wan me to care..
u tell me la..why i still wan to care..

i feel left out..
so wad u ppl dun care i care so much 4 wad?
i wan to quit volleyball but i cant la..
wad can i still do..
all i can do is jus continue wif this cca lol..
i suffer suffer lol..
dun mind to suffer again liao le..
i suffer so much liao abit more does not make any different to me liao le..

so hate 2day!

2007-07-21T23:41:00.000-07:00

i hate ANGIE TAN..she sucks man..
cos of her i get scoldin and bittin frm my dad..
bit until got blood la..fuckin shit lol..so damm pain can..
then is lyk i not in the wrong la..
then they nvr ask properly they jus scold me and bit me la..
so damm unfair to me can..
they so damm pian xin la can..
wad kind of parents they are u tell me..

then 2day i go bandage my hand la..
the chinese doctor help me wif my hand..
hen he press until lyk so damm pain la can..
then bandage my hand until veri the big lol..
now i hardly bend my hand la..
if i bend is lyk so damm pain la can...

i so hate 2day..i dun wan to be in this family can..
always the oldest get all the scoldin 1st la can..
so damm unfair to me..
why cant anyone jus treat me fairly ma?

so damm sad la can..
i feel lyk i totally no needin to be in this world lyk tat can..
i cant even help or do anything...
wad 4 i still stay in this freakin world!!
so damm hurt la can..
why cant anyone lyk me to be around?
dun make use of me can liao le..
care for me is dere anyone ma?

wen i siao siao i happy
if not i will be damm sad can..
so jus let me ba..
hahas..damm sad sia..
love me ma my dear frenz here od u ppl jus hate me?

Happy Birthday MR SENG!

so damm pissed..not tat happy

2007-07-20T06:19:00.000-07:00

so damm pissed la can..
my sister so irritatin la can..
she go tell my parents tat i pinch and push her la..
then is lyk i nvr lol..
then i get scoldin frm my parents..
then now i cryin lyk hell eyes swollen..
then they nvr ask properly they scold me so damm unfair to ME..
why cant they ask 1st b4 they cum scold me la..

I HATE MYSELF..I HATE MYSELF..
i injured myself le..
my hand veri pain..so damm pain la can..
move oso damm pain..i take pen oso cannot pain la..
so wad no one care so wad 4 i care so much about myself then?
why is happenin to me again?
the easy way:
i think i jus go up to the past me lyk livin in my own world..
1 dark and lonely world of my hu cares so much abt me for wad..
make no difference to my frenz or my family..
so wad for u ppl care abt me?
no one lyk me to be around so i think i jus stay
in 1 corner all by myself then since i make no difference to them all..
stay all alone by myself ..
talk to myself..
solve my things myself dun wan to depend on anyone anymore..
they care cos they nid help frm me..
wen u ppl dun nid help u ppl dump me aside all by myself so im use to wad u ppl given me..
how can i change u ppl tell me?
how to ?
so wad if i dun lyk all this..i still have to live wif all this rite..

happiest day ever or worse day ever..

2007-07-19T04:19:00.000-07:00

i wonderin my day 2day good or bad de lol..
haiz..so damm tired lol 2day..sian la..
2day durin trainin damm fun la can..
feel so good sum ppl not dere..
but she dere oso make no difference 2 me can..
then esther yeo ar and weiyaya..
this 2 ar..again then u all then u noe..
keep on fallin siao one lei..
then both sum more injured urself..
then 2morrow u 2 better becareful la can dun fall so many times can..
my dear 2 good frenz here..

clare sae noe my blog damm slow lei u..
i expose my blog so damm long liao..
2weeks ago then u noe..abit late liao rite?
hey SUHAN wen u have a daughter ar?
hu the lucky wife of urs ar?tell me lei can ma?
hahas..=)

havin to noe SUHAN as my new fren..hahas..
so sian..I LOVE TO HAVE LOADS OF GODSISTERS..
they rocks sia..they are always the best to me lyk my family lyk tat..
WONDER PEOPLE HU NOE ME DO U ALL FIND ME IRRTATIN MA?
pls tell me thanz..if yes i wan to change..hahas..
is real i wanna change de..so ya..
havin godsister is the best of all..
cos i dun think they will leave me aside lyk wad sum of my frenz did 2me..
so havin GODSISTERS around is the best..
I SO LOVE U GUYS..rock on godsisters..frenz..hahas..

but i feel sad oso lei..
haiz..i feel tat those ppl hu i always sms to find me irrtatin la can..
or they are jus busy ar?
sms to feel relax lol..but ppl dun reply me so damm sad de lol..
which i dun really wan to be sad de lol..
but wad can i still do nth lol..

i love to sms wad ur problem la..
feel so lonely now in my life..
ppl sae i EMO..go ahead and sae ba i dun care abt it liao le
ok fine i EMO lol..and oso a loner lol..
dun bother abt me anymore ppl..dun care me la..
WHY CANT ANYONE LYK ME LEI?WHY?
tell me why ?i cried lots of times cos of this can..

worse day ever..

2007-07-18T05:52:00.000-07:00

actually my mood 4 the day is veri good and happy de lol..
in class so slack 2day MR SENG nvr cum 2day 4 lesson so free..
then i lyk use my hp and mp4 in class..
my frenz sae they are veri shock abt it..
DURING CCA...
tats where the nightmare started..
wen it start i still veri happy de..
abt 5 plus it started..WHY TIS HAPPEN??
then nvm i dun care abt it..
then after trainin i cried cos i jus feel tat
i jus cant do it liao le..
i tried to control my feelings liao le..
but i still can ..
they are jus too much..
go and tell ppl ta i scold her FUCKIN BITCH..
which i nvr even scold anyone in the team 2day la can..
is lyk i can feel tat ppl in the team dun trust me liao le lol..
so wad for i still wan their trust now on use liao le..
cos of HER..so pissed wif her..
i GIVE UP i dunno wad i can do now liao la..
is lyk the team sae they themselves wanna train hard 4 next year..
but now i think they totally 4got abt wad we wan to aim..
so wad if i train my veri best every trainin..
if the team slack i train so hard 4 wad no point lol..
I CANT FIND MUCH TRUST IN THE TEAM LIAO...
i choose to give up..alwways wen i try my best sth will happen tat day de..
i dun wan to give up..i jus cant..
but the ppl in the team make me feel this way..
i train hard myself cant really help the team itself..
i cant play myself to win..
ALL I WAN IS THE TEAM I HAVE WORK HARD TOWARDS WAD WE AIM 4 SO LONG..
im no longer the past me i have change liao le..
i love this CCA which im in now..
but wad i get in the end is NOTHIN..
so i choose to walk this path tat i choose all by myself..
i dun nid any help any more..
i will still be strong to continue the path i choose to the end..
i will keep on tryin de.

2007-07-16T06:18:00.000-07:00

i feeling sad now la..
dunno why i feel tat i burden the people around..
veri stress..dunno wad to do..
i think this is correct for me:
"once a loner always a loner"
maybe it is rite..my fate is a loner..
can i change it i really dunno..
then nowadays my friends dun really lyk to talk to me..
even group wif the people i dun really work wif..
then all my frenz always have their own frenz..
leave me all alone..haiz my life is so "WONDERFUL"..
I DUN LYK THE LIFE I HAVE NOW..
i wanna change but HOW?
sometimes i really wonder why am i born here?
WHY ? WHY?someone tell me..
I HATE MYSELF..WHY AM I LYK TAT??
no one lyk me to be around..
i jus hope tat i die soon so will not burden anyone in life..
so pls let me die if i can ba..pls..thanz..
tell me la hu wanna be to be around..
i noe myself de lol..
lots of ppl hope tat i will not around..
i noe sum ppl is frm my cca..
i noe sth abt wad they do la..
i jus wan more care concern love trust..
i noe ppl will sae i EMO..
i dun care wad u ppl sae liao le..
u ppl dunno how i feel wen u are in my shoes
im cryin now la..hu cares la..

happy sia..(14 july'07)

2007-07-15T01:15:00.001-07:00

i so damm happy..
i noe a new friend name called SHUHAN..
frm swimmin..hahas..from NDP..
when she put on make up look a bit funny..
BUT she still look nice la..hahas..
ONLI some people put on make up really really dun look nice at all..
then i bring potato chips and chocolates..
the food dere sucks la idun lyk it so damm dry lol..
hahas..but NDP still veri nice..
the costume all white..nice la..
all of us look so nice in it..so love it..

Feeling so good to have so much godsisters around..
they are the best of all..
frm my CCA..NDP..
really feel nice to have godsister ard to be dere wif me..

why this?

2007-07-13T05:04:00.000-07:00

my darling dun cry liao le la..
wad is done is done cannot be indone rite agree?
so pls pls cheer up la..
ur frenz or team mates dun care abt u..
i care a lot 4 u de can dun 4get abt me..
i will be dere to help u and to cheer u up de..
so jus try to 4get wad happen 2day..
jus start a fresh day 2morrow la..
when u feel upset i will oso de la..
u cry i oso will cry..
so happy we happy 2gether..
sad we sad 2gether ..
cry cry 2gether..
i willin to share wif u wadever i have wif u all.
so share urs wif me if u willin to share it wif me..

i feel that im useless..
i cant help anyone even myself..
so hopeless..no hope of doin better things in life..
haiz why is my lyk tat de?
i dun wan it but i cant change..

what woud i change?
my attitude..cos i noe tat cos of my attitude sometimes
cant really get along wif them then i will feel veri lonely in life..

my cca..cos sometimesi noe tat some of my team mates dun really lyk
me to be around..even if i play well in the team oso no use at all..
no one care about it wad so wad 4 i still stay around then..
but i really love this cca...esp the juniors treat me the best..
so happy to have them around wif me..so i will feel accompany..
not lyk tat time i so lonely no one to talk to or play wif always i noe tat i will be the extra 1 in sec3..haiz..wad can i still do nth i noe..

2007-07-12T06:26:00.000-07:00

so i forget about them and live life as it used to be
cos if god wanted to have his creation to be like this then he wouldn't have created you
he wanted his creations to be happy
so jus let me 4get all those unhappy things t=and start i fresh day again..
so same to u guys who cum to my blog..
u can share it wif ur frenz... family members..me(if u wan 2 la)..teachers..
or whoever u feel comfortable wif can liao le..
so guys do take good care of urself..
do treasure the people around u..
when they are not around alr dun regetted abt what is done..
so pls treasure the people around u..

im jealous abt the people around me sometimes la..
haiz why?i wonder..
sum people is lyk so damm close to one another
i wan oso but i think will not have de can..
haiz so hopeless la me..no use to anyone de can..
but my darling u 2 are the best..but i wan more..but i think i will not have
so why bother abt it then..but i wan la..
no hope for me liao le..tell me who wanna be close to me?
no one i noe the answer..haiz..sad sia..hate my life sometimes..
i wanna change..i really wan to..

2007-07-11T06:08:00.000-07:00

feel so damm happy now..
i love 2day but still a bit not happy la..
wad i dun lyk is my class pissed me off la..
but this is this not the worse day lol..
hahas..
hu wanna noe me better i dun mind u add me
patty_t1233@hotmail.com
add me in friendster too..
hahas..thanz..
love u guys..
miss me ok..

2007-07-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

i hate 2day it really sux!
all because of my cca..
haiz y my team lyk tat de..
cos of a group of people la...
dun think i dunno wad u ppl talkin abt ccn i have ears de can
i m not deaf la can..lyk onli u ppl can chow faces to me ar..
no lol i oso can de la i oso human can..
i have feelings de la..

i really feel tat im not in a team anymore la..
i feel so damm extra now..
even zeb n esther same class as me i oso still feel damm extra..
i wonder do they really treat me as their team mates or not la can..
why is my life lyk tat de..
i so hate this can is ruin my whole mood durin volleyball trainin la..

the people in volleyball tat treat me the best is the SEC 1S (2007)..
so lyk them to be around when im upset tat time u wil ask me why..
they noe tat i m not close to the SEC 2 & 3(2007)..
I HATE THEM BUT SOME OF THEM STILL THE BEST LYK THE SEC1S..
why they treat me in this way which i dun really lyk it abt..

2007-07-08T05:25:00.000-07:00

my grandma stayin in hospital..
so damm worry 4 her la..
wonder when she can cum out la..

haiz why ppl sae i EMO de..
im not can i oso human oso have feelings de but im not emo can..
I AM NOT I EMO KID..
when do ppl will understand how i
really feel deep inside me lei??

i hate myself no one noe how i really feel inside..

2007-07-05T06:27:00.000-07:00

i hate 2day 5 july 2007...
i cried la cos of my stupid class of my...
sum of them dun respect me at all la..
i not transparent lei i have feelings de lei..
I AM STILL A HUMAN BEGIN LEI..
i m not a animal de lei..
why please why u ppl do this to me..
hey u all think tat a MONITOR veri easy to be ar..
no lol i tell u if u sae its easy u do la i give u the post lol..
be a monitor have 2 see u ppl de attitude all tis..
i not k..
i m not lyk this type of person de can..
i dun work wif this type of ppl de k..

2007-07-01T04:54:00.000-07:00

2day i feel sick la..
my body feel so weak suddenly la..
my leg damm pain so damm hard to walk la..
2day i feel so sick jus feel lyk jus lyin on the bed tats all la..
but i cant lol..
hahas..

hey people hu tag me ar..
my i ask u all 1 queston:
-IS DERE ANYTHING U DUN LYK ABT ME?-
-IS DERE ANYTHING U LYK ABT ME?-

PLS ANS THIS 2 QUESTIONS PLS...
thanz ar reply me at the tag board..
love u guys lots
esp my GALFRENZ all..
esp my GODSISTERS all..

2007-06-29T05:07:00.000-07:00

so happy now..
i dun lyk the past liao le..
i changed le..
hahas..i feel so happy..
i love this year de juniors they really rocks my life la..
i love u guys sec 1s(2007)..

SEC 1S:
sec1 work harder ok u ppl can do it..
so come on keep on tryin ok..
nid my help u can come and find me
other seniors will oso tried their best to help u guys..
so sec1 work harder ok i love u all..

SEC 2S:
sec 2s u guys oso the same oso rocks la..
but u ppl oso have to try ur best playin ok mus be serious la..
too playful oso not good sometimes la..
so ya..hahas..

SEC 3S:
sec3s u guys are ok to me la..
u guys oso rocks my life too la...
steph...zebb..angeline...
gael...xuan...jaswee..esther...
hahas nice ar u guys...
hey u all 2 mus be serious
no matter wad we mus really tried our best
to win somethings next year..
IS A MUS TO WIN TO SHOW THE SKOOL
tat we guys can win sth 4 the skool de..

2007-06-18T07:16:00.000-07:00

i so hate 2day trainin..
ppl lyk keep on sayin abt me la..
ppl lyk xuan gael vaness pl lyk them i dun lyk..
but i cant hate them the are my team mates all i can do is try to accept them all..
wad can i still do..
haiz sometimes i noe why they hate me
cos of my attitude sometimes but sometimes i really dunno they la..
haiz i veri so damm extra in the team la..
lyk all of them dun treat me as their team mates..
i wonder when or wad they will change this attitude towards me..
why is my life lyk tat de??
i feel tat i live in a miserable life la now..
ppl if u dislike sth abt me pls tell me i wan to noe..
i wan to change it..
i dun really lyk ppl talk behind my back la..
so sian and i hate myself..
why am i lyk tat de?
do i born lyk tat ?
am i useful to my frenz..
i feel damm upset la..
hu willin to help me?
hu is dere anyone ma??
talk to me ppl pls..

2007-06-08T07:53:00.000-07:00

so happy 2day..
i goin gentin soon this sunday..
hahas can relax lots and lots...
haiz but 2day trainin i hate la so lack..
haiz gf's..... god sis....frenz..
so tried la now..
now 10.55 pm liao le..
so damm sad now a days no one to sms..
i hope tat i can sms ppl la..
i love smsin ppl can..
hu ca i sms ar?
anyone tell me pls..
people i so love u all..
concern abt me sometimes but i feel lonely this few days..
wif no one accompany me..
i so hate this feelin lyk bein dump lyk tat so hurtin..

2007-06-04T04:27:00.000-07:00

i feel so happy 2day ..
cos finally some 1 in my team noe how i feel inside liao le..
4 all this time i m findin someone to understand me..
tat is Esther yeo..
still have:
(zebrina)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(weiyaya)
(patricia)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(jessica)
(lynda)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(nadia)
(chleo)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(elina)
(badriah)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(fifi)
(ophelia)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>(situ)
my good fren:pei yun>>>>>love u all...
i love u all...
finally u all understand me sometimes..

haiz but sometimes i dun really understand myself how can the ppl around
me understand abt me lei..sometimes i feel lyk a loser cant do things proper..
cant find anyone to understand me at all la sometimes..
but now i think there is a bit of change in my life now..

2007-05-22T06:48:00.000-07:00

so lonely this few days..

feel so damm rejected by someone la..

so sad wif no one accompany me at all la..

hu will accompany?

i feel that no one care for me now la..

haiz why my life is always lyk tat..

frenz dun care..

god sisters dun care..

galfrenz oso dun care..

tell me who care 4 me?

or no one care about mt at all lei?

WHY IS LY LIFE LYK TAT?

FEEL SO REJECTED BY MY GALFREN LA..

hai i have a feelin that no wanna to bother about at ALL la

wad for i still wan to suffer can i do sth to let all this go?

i cryin now dun feel any concern ,love or care frm ppl around me at all la..

i wan care, love,concern and more from people around me ..this is wad i wan hu willin to show tat to me who i am now..

sad day

2007-05-18T07:05:00.000-07:00

i feel so sad..
when i nid someone to be around wif me when i wan them to be..
always dun have de..
i feel so sad..
like in this world no one noe much abt this gal here now..
where i am now..on my own..
like i aws trapped in a room all by myself..
all i can do is to depend on myself..
support myself in wad i do..
encourage myself..
take care of myself..
love myslf..
die myself..
torture myself.
no one will noe cos i was in the room all by myself..

2007-05-17T06:05:00.000-07:00

feel so damm lonely now no one here to accompany me la..

my god sis..good fren..all..

haiz..wonder hu will lyk me?

wad they lyk abt me???

someone tell me pls..

people why u all dun like me??

why?

i feel so extra in this whole i am livin now..

is this point 4 me to live on..

NO POINT 4 ME RITE..

feel lyk slashin myself now wif sharp penknife..

slash..slash..

blood slowly drip frm my hands..

so much blood so deep cut on my hand..

my cca rockz my life but wad is the point if the team dun really wan me to be around..

or i jus quit but i cant bear to do so coz i so love this cca..

this cca really rockz my life..

bright up each day of my life ever..

2007-05-15T07:44:00.000-07:00

hey !

2day have photo takin 4 class and cca..

4 class some a maths ppl take paper to be the more out standin one sia..

4 cca i think i am the extra 1 coz i the onli wan standin next to the juniors onli..

i love the juniors than the seniors..

juniors care abt me more than the seniors..

they treat me tat i am there but seniors is the opposite..sometimes i do feel left out when i am wif the sec2 and 3..they lyk givin me a feelin tat i dun exist in this cca la..wad 4 i still continue wif this cca when is lyk not much ppl lyk me..

i really dunno wad to do..can someone tell me wad to do advise given to me pls..

i really tired of this already..wheni let myself to recall abt this i may cry of this coz i feel tat they dun care abt me at all..in the class sometimes oso the same ppl dun treat me there pick on me dun respect me de i really hate this la..

thank god i still have my juniors and god sis to be around wif me if i nid accompany..

love them so much really they really rox and change my life..

i love my god sisters and good frenz(they noe hu they are)..

luve u guys rox my life and bright up everyday of my life..

kisses and hugs 4 u all..

2007-05-02T07:32:00.000-07:00

hey yo!
so sian today can..
common test comin le..
guys i here wish u all good luck ar..
i still wonderin hu is tat gal hu lyk me ?
can someone jus tell me hu she is in express..

so love this year juniors esp my god sis..
haha

happy birthday nadia..love u take care enjoy yr wonderful day ar...

2007-04-22T02:00:00.000-07:00

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with y our smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
True friends:
How many people actually have 8 true friends? Hardly anyone I know ! But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!

2007-04-16T06:08:00.000-07:00

so happy today..
i have new god sisters all from volleyball de..
damm happy sia..
they are :
-lynda
-jessica
-patricia

still have others they are
-PEI YUN
-CRISNA

all my godsisters rocks same goes to me ar...
i so so love them so much...
and all the juniors in volleyball this year 2007..
they rocks my life man...
i rocks more ba..

2007-04-09T21:12:00.000-07:00

hey yo guys!
i feel so tiired lei still have NDP de 2 times a week...
so damm sian can...

is yen ton and esther them pickin on me???
i think they lyk so damm irritatin can..
nothin better to do la...
so damm ediot..
i so not like this type of people can..

so happy to have a god sister...
that is pei yun from badminton...
so like he as my god sister..
but she is like better then my real bloood sister can...

2007-03-10T22:01:00.000-08:00

i noe tat some ppl around me noe about my blog..
i really hope tat they can stop lettin others to noe abt my blog..
pls i nid my private space pls..so i hope that u ppl stop pass...

2007-03-06T05:38:00.000-08:00

today i feel damm sad..
i thinkin that me myself lyk a failure..
cant sucess in anything...

my study de-prove lots..
i jus hope that i can study harder than before..
i wanna to be wif my frenz
i wan to be in the top 40...
i really hope that wish will come true to me..

i think that my frenz dun really lyk me much...
i really hope that they will change the attitude towards me..

2007-02-28T04:31:00.001-08:00

me feel so lonely lei...
haiz ppl can u ppl try to understand me more inside
not the outside of me?
can ppl?
can help me wif this ?

2007-02-26T05:27:00.000-08:00

i feel lyk cuttin myself..
always i call myself to do tat..
in the end i will not do de can..
do my frenz lyk me to be around?
or i jus too sensative le?
can someone tell me?

2007-02-24T05:51:00.000-08:00

frenz around me sometimes treat me good sometimes not...
yx do not have the time to write my book..
what can i say?
i trust her..does she trust me??
hope that wadever things i write she will not
show or tell the other abt it or make fun of me...

why is my life lyk tat?
mei...
why u ppl treat me so good?
i not that fit that u treat me tis good
cos i am a rotten apple tat no one wan
so u can do that 2,throw mw aside if u wan..
cos I AM A ROTTEN APPLE..THAT NO ONE WANS..
remember this...
i cry why no one lyk me...
am i forever a loner tat will be lonely for her life?

2007-02-22T05:37:00.000-08:00

i so hate me myself can..

why my frenz treat me lyk tat?

why always i have to group with my frenz..

i dun really group with them de ..

but i will always partnerin those ppl hu i dun usually work with...

this make me feel so hurt la can..

why lei lyk they treat me lyk a doll lyk tat de..

is lyk they wan me they will come to me ..

when they dun nid me to be around me and thery jus dump me at 1 side..

pls la frenz why do u ppl wan to treat me this way which it hurts me damm much can...

2007-02-20T05:34:00.000-08:00

i jus find that no one really noe me much...
things that i describes me mtself..
loneliness...
sadness..
unhappy..
stupid..
there isn't anything good abt me..
what can i say...
nth..
my frenz
sometimes they come to me for help
when do not nid me they jus throw me one side..
all alone my my own..
where no one wants to talk to me ..
tell me la what can i say to them la
i dunreally dare to go to them and say ..
hu can help me with that lei..
pls help me..

haiz is there anyone wan to help me???
no one ..right ...no one at all...
what can i do to change??
or am i sick inside or what ?

2007-02-20T00:30:00.000-08:00

hey ppl around me i feel veri lonely here lei...
why i not lyk my frenz...
so popular...
so much frenz with them...
get along with others so well...
ppl respect them can but not me at all...

i treat ppl around me good la..
but hu can tell me what i will get in the end..
nth but loneliness..
what i always wish for is...

is my frenz respect me..
lyk make me feel belong to a group..
not what i am in now..
really the true i really feel lonely...
not much frenz around...

2007-02-10T06:25:00.003-08:00

i feel lyk a damm loser la can!!!
is i never come to skool for 4 days cos i have sore eyes..
then i come back 2 skool the 1 unlucky thing is my frenz
they jus lyk scolded me la..as they say that we the monitor never do a good jod
as a good monitor they wish to have la..
then they say that we always last min call them to do things or to pay $$$
the worst is...
i jus recover and i have to help the class to do the total defence things..
help them find the info and think of what are we goin to do next...

i can say that lyk some people in the class respect me can...
is lyk i have already try my best to do things well as a monitor...
i have a lot of stress being a monitor...
sometimes they say i am a monitor i cant do any wrong..
lyk eatin sweets...
hey i am human la i have feelings one la...
i not COLD-BLOODED can i am a WARM-BLOODED.....

this hurt me so deep down la...
is lyk no one really noe what i wan..

all i want is the class PLS respect us as the monitor...
being a monitor is a very hard and tough job..
people dun really understands much cos they say that bein a monitor is a easy thing to do...
and i disagree with that..

2007-02-05T23:26:00.000-08:00

i have sore eye can so damm sad cant go to skool to have fun wif frenz la...
monday that time my sis let me have sore eye..
yesterday everyone in my family have sore eye and it is oso my sis angie birthday...
haha so unlucky for her birthday some more can

so damm funny on my sis birthday all of my family members have sore eyes...

2007-01-20T04:54:00.000-08:00

why my frenz dun respect me??
what should i do?

gain thier trust and respect.but 1st i respect ppl and den slowly they
will respect me and bond wif me as a fren..
i mus try to talk to them and be bbast fren or a good fren of my..

this is onli the beginin..i mus wait and see..

2007-01-02T05:10:00.000-08:00

hey happy!!
2morrow goin skool le..
but i still not that happy
cos i scared that i go back to skool lyk before
LONER...
haiz.. hu will be there to help me??

2006-12-27T07:05:00.000-08:00

i feel veri sad..
why do my team-mates wan to treat me lyk that??
why can anyone tell me?
frenz why u ppl wanna to do this to me?
why torture?
i really hate this can..
can we jus pretend that nothin happen before?
can plsi beg u ppl...
dun do this to me again....

2006-12-24T07:59:00.000-08:00

merri christmas people...
so long to wait for this day to come..
guys lets celebrate this wonderful moment onli 2day..
i love u guys...

2006-12-23T07:58:00.000-08:00

my frenz can u ppl tell me how i mus change so u ppl lyk me...
pls tell me so how la...
dun nid to show me the face of yours la..
dun think that i lyk that veri much can...
i veri hate to see people's face one lor..

2006-12-20T03:48:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, orSaying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart...
if you don't, you might break theirs..
Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do.
It does it on its own........
when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to..
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...
for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump..
People live, but people die.
I want to tell you thatyou are a friend.
I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life,
you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life, I
look up to you, respect you, truly cherish you , most of all I CARE about friends..
Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this and takecomfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and . always will..
I care about YOU !!

2006-12-20T03:40:00.000-08:00

jaswee one time say to me she call me not to stuck up wif yixuan..

quittin the cca is the best solution.
the more u prove the hurt jus cant get away...
in fact the hurt will be bigger and bigger each time...

am i restrict myself from wat i wan!!
or should i jus talk around wif them??

2006-12-16T05:44:00.000-08:00

i jus wanna to noe....
i jus wan to feel belong to a group that i always hope to be in...
pls i really wanna to noe the ans soon...

2006-12-14T04:43:00.001-08:00

i feel sad 2day...
feel so damm left out wif my frenz...
what should i do tell me someone...
i really wan ppl around me to notice me and dun leave me out by myself..
pls i hope somedays will come true...

2006-12-13T06:24:00.000-08:00

why some people jus like to treat me like that?
why i jus wan to noe..
who are me true frenz?
LAM YI XUAN
ZEBRINA
OTHER VOLLEYBALLERS....
are they me true good frenz??
i wan to have them to be my true good frenz
specially>>>>
yi xuan....zebrina...gael....
other volleyballers too...

but will they be my true good frenz
i treat as one but maybe not to them i noe..
i maybe not fit to be one...
hope some days i will be la hope so la not then nvm...

i will treat them like my sis....love u all..

2006-12-13T05:48:00.000-08:00

why she do this to me...why?
tell me someone pls...
i wan to now what is the reason pls i really wanna to noe...
i really hope that u will relpy me some how pls to tell me la..
i really really hope so can...will she??

2006-12-12T03:54:00.001-08:00

i am so scared now....
cos i now livin in a veri dark,scary and lonely place all by myself..
no light no people around wif me..in there onli me alone alone by myself no one there
when i feel sad or scared i jus cried and i oso noe that it cant solve my problem...
no matter what i do and i try still cant get out of this place..
shout 4 help no one there to help me..
like no one really wan to help me at all la...
i stuck in here for a veri long time seeni am in sec 1..
i goin to give up soon if i still can get any help from my frenz....
i really cant take tis anymore and this torture le...
somebody say that i will am stuck i here 4EVER in my whole life....
there is no light no exit no people total darkness in here i am now..
what am i doin to do next le???
i try all ways to get out but still cannot...
how???

2006-12-12T03:54:00.000-08:00

2006-12-10T04:51:00.000-08:00

am i useless??
why my frenz treat me like that??why??
sometimes i really hate what my frenz that i trust so much...
or i jus too sensative am i?

2006-12-03T06:24:00.000-08:00

i have nth to say to that person who i trust and call her to be my sis...
i thought that she will treat me 1 but i dun too childish to think that way...
i here hope that she will get what she wan and i dun min the person around them sufferin...

what i can do nth jus be myself

i goin to be mad soon my frenz goin some where that not all can go wan...

i really really cannot take this any more from now....so stress and tired liao jus hope tat someday i jus lyin on my bed jus sleep 4ever or a period of time...tell me who really care abt me i noe my family will but i still wan frenz no frenz really care for me at all...

i think i am so so hateful...

2006-12-03T05:51:00.000-08:00

why are they doin this to me??why??
can some1 tell me why...do i look like person who like to get bully??
i dun really like this i do not voice cos i jus dun wan them to hate me...
i jus wan to have a few frenz that i find close to me who i can go to if i nid help

but i have no one at all can..someone that i trust is no longer there for me and who will bed there for me now...myself or there is someone there but i dunno or no one at all..

why cant someone jus stand in the position where i am now and try to understand what i ryy feel and do...is there someone or no one at all or myself??
who knows....someone that i trust and close to no longer wif me and help me now or future solve myself but i nid help from someone who will be will-ly to help me....

feel like this is no endin for me now in this now...what should i do next???
who understand what i really feel and do now....feel like cryin till 2morrow...

2006-11-30T07:03:00.000-08:00

i sometimes feel like endin my life cos i jus cant find life is so meaningless..what can i do no one really care lor..

is there ppl there who care for me or no one at all...

my good fren in volleyball i think she does not really like me to her sis la...what i can do to change thier attitude towards me??

i really dunno what to do la...should i jus give up and end what is for me??...i really dunno what will really happen to me...

2006-11-27T06:41:00.003-08:00

so bored on 27/11
i follow my mum to GH hospital to see her eyes and we walk the whole day can from 12pm-8pm...so tired when we reach home lor...
then i never go for trainin on 27/11 then i feel so weird can...
why i feel so werid when i never go for trainin?

2006-11-26T05:42:00.000-08:00

hmmm..hai ya..

so happy 2day lor..daddy buy us mp4 and digital camera abt $540..

so much at 1 go my heart hurts so much $$$ can...as long all of us happy can liao lor..
i thought dad dun wanna buy 4 us de lor but in the end he buy 3 mp4 and camera la..

i happy that what i wan have le..so how i have to WORK VERI HARD for this comin year in my sec3 life..

Dad i promise u that i will try my best in whatever i do...try my best to strike..and try to get better results so that our COUSINS will not look down on us...i will try my best in my sec3-sec5 life...

2006-11-25T07:19:00.000-08:00

so lonely..life is so borin le..
wanna bond wif my frenz also diffcult..
bond wif family will have a long time than frenz...
why cant my parents jus let me and allow me to go out wif frenz when i am in sec 3 onwards!!

2006-11-25T06:53:00.000-08:00

hello..
first time usin blog!!!!!
have a veri nice day ahead all of u.....
just wanna tell u that i am a lonerfreak gal !!!!
have fun lookin at my blog....

loner freak

2006-11-24T06:52:00.000-08:00

why i jus cant go out wif my frenz...when is the right time for me to go out wif my frenz??WHEN IS THR RIGHT TIME?

i jus hope that my parents let me go out sometimes wif my frenz and let me have my freedom...i so hate now no freedom at all...why mus they do this to me ?