every beat of my heart

Thursday, August 30, 2007

♥ 6:48 AM

abit sad today..

i cried in the bus wen all the sec3 all go to the

army open house..

i think no one noe tat i cried lol..

then i on the music until full blast..

i wonderin why i ceried at 1st la..

i noe why..

cos i feel lonely la..no one tokin to me can..

my good fren enjoyin wif their gang then left me out la

haiz i jus wonder whether i really hv frenz ard me or not lol can..

but in the end the trip to the army open house is damm fun la..

i wen to the xtreme world la can..

me zeb esther vicky n yen ton..

we wen to do the PFT so damm fun la..

hahas..after tat we wen to play flyin fox..

i 1st time try la can..

so damm scary la can..

3 lvl high can..i dun dare cum down at 1st la can..

then ppl downstairs supportin la..

hahas..

lyk the twin..zhou..yuwen..xiaojun..many more la..

thanz guys 4 ur support la can..

damm scary la..

and MR SENG u owe us pizza..

weiyaya dare to do he sae she dun dare end up weiyaya go play lol..

weiyaya nice one la..

iloveyou sia...

but i thing i dun lyk is we dun hv much time lol..

so damm little time to play onli la..

damm sad..

then i wonderin how is the day 2morrow lol..

i think i may damm sad lol..

cant post then i can chat wif my 2 darling lol..

then i dunno whether i can sms ppl or not la can..

but i got sth to tell me darling..

u 2 are the best la can..

iloveyou!

i hope tat the trip i will be damm happy de lol..

so ya..take care guys wen i not in singapore k esp my darling..

then mon got to go 4 trg la.

i think i will be damm tierd de lol can..

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

♥ 6:23 AM

2day so damm ediot la..
cos of sumone in 3c pissed me off lol..
make me feel so pissed la..
then after a few lessons over i dun care abt it liao le lol..
haiz why tis happen to me de lol.
nvm dun wish to tok abt it liao le lol..
today i dun really hv the mood to rite liao le..
wen for cip onli 1 hr..
nvr go 4 cheer..
sorry abt it ar guys frm 3 b tat i nver help u all wif the cheer..
so damm sorry..
i think i feel sad 4 the day lol..haiz sian la dunno wad to sae liao le

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

♥ 6:53 AM

27 AUG'07
today actually i cant go de..
but end up i still go lol..
all of us meet then all the volleyballers wen dere 2gether lol..
cedar lei..so wad they play veri good..
ppl dun sae we will lose to em..
at esle we try our best to fight for it can liao le..
does not matter we win or not lol..
is the process tat we go though is the most inportant part of all..
at esle we learn sth frm our mistakes k..
then poor mee ling is been hit at the head lol..
u ok ma?then so sorry to the cedar gal which my ball hit ur shoulder k..
so ya la..
wooo...really they are veri strong la..
veri ball spike spike lol..dunno lyk wanna kill ppl lyk tat lol..
tell u 1day chij sjc might be better than u guys in the future lol..
hahas..i hope tis day will cum soon..
i tell myself tat no matter wad i hv to control my emotion lol..
wen i hv my break i wen down i tell couch tat i go re-fill water..
end up i playin downstairs wif my godsisters n the sec1 lol..
hahas..
volleyballers dun be upset tat we lose to em k..
we mus prove to the rest tat we can do better than em k..
we cum back skool practise more k..
i love you guys!!

28AUG'07
early in the morin play volleyball lol..
then for the 1st lesson ppl pissed me off can..
wad is wrong wif my hair..
oso not ur hair worry so much for wad la..
sae sae sae..i dun lyk it k..
such s bloody bitch can..
then the mood is bad lol..
haiz sian lol..
2day rain the whole day then cant play volleyball outside lol damm sad can..
darling i hope u can be dere wif me can..damm sad n pissed lol..
hahas..nice to hv my godsisters n darling ard wif me..
then i will not be all alone by myself la..
thanz n i love u guys!!
take care of urself k guys..
cya in skool 2morrow then play volleyball 2morrow k..byee gtg now..
love ya..hugs n kisses jus 4 you!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

♥ 5:36 AM

2day so damm shockin la can..
my family n i wen to compass lol..
u noe hu we saw ma??
MR SENG lei n his family la..
onli saw his younger son la..
then he walk towards my table la can..
then i hv a shock lol..i thought hu can..
pls la mr seng next time dun giv me a shock lol..
then my mum tok to him as usually..
my see any of my teacher she always does tat lol..
ask the teacher how i behave in class..
how is my result..
i good ma..
many more la k..
then my mum n mr seng face ar veri scary la can..
i hv no idea wad they are tokin la..
they keep on lookin at me dunno 4 wad la..
so ya..then i ask esther n angie wad they r tryin to sae lol..
cos we cant really hear wad they sae..
then i ask em whether i can go 2morrow ma?
then i hv no idea whether im goin or not lol..
but i really wan to go lol..
play friendly match wif cedar gals..
wonder SJC against CEDAR..
will we win em?
hu noe so ya..
gtg now pack my things for the KL trip tis cumin friday lol..
which it is oso TEACHER'S DAY!!
hahas..

Saturday, August 25, 2007

♥ 6:50 AM

2day ar..

nth really happen lol..

but i wan to go on mon to cedar girls skool to play friendly match la can..

n my godsisters wan to 2go oso..

n myself i wan to go la can..

sum1 tel m e tat they are damm strong la..

the more i wan to prove em tat sjc volleyballers r oso good too..

we can win de is jus we dun really cooperate wif one another tats all lol..

dun worry we will improve on it oso de k..

we can show u guys we can do it de lol..

so ya..SJC volleyballers are united as one the next time u meet us sia..

hahas..we will prove it to u all de lol..

ppl sms me lei i veri bored lol..sms if can k..

i will love it de k..

n i wan u guys to noe tat

i care n love u guys hu i noe ard me de k..

i will treasure u guys well esp my godsisters n my darling sia..

hope u guys treasure it oso lol..

where would i b if my frenz n u were not der for me?

support..encouragement..movies..sleepovers..neoprints..

late nite call..laughter..n tears..

soon we will be separate wen we age,bringin our sweet n bitter memories along wif us

tears stream frm our eyes as we all graduate,

knowing we wil nvr be 2gether again..

so i really hope u guys treasure wads in front of u..

a star has 5 ends..

a square has 4 ends..

a triangle has 3 ends..

a line has 2 ends..

a life has 1 end..

a friendship has no end..

hope tat u will always treasure our friendship..

hope tat we will nvr lose em..

7 rules to be happy:

1>never hate

2>dun worry

3>live simple

4>expect a little

5>give alot

6>always smile

7>have a cute

fre..like me!!=)

bloody bitch la ..

Friday, August 24, 2007

♥ 6:59 AM

yesterday my parents slap me la..

damm freakin pain la can..

cos of my stupid sister of my..

then my parents sae tat u as the big sister

mus do a good role model 4em to learn..

hey i tell u i oso human lei will make mistake de can

n is lyk no my problem sae until it is my problem de lol..

then sae sae sae then sae umtil my study n then my cca..

so damm pissed of them la can..

helo my dear parents of my pls la..

u all noe i ove my cca if i dun go i dun lyk it de..

n is lyk im in the main 6 la..

i wan to play well lol now everything all so weak liao le can..

n i dun lyk it n i will feel veri pissed wif myself n make others angry de lol..

why cant they jus understand how i feel deep down de la..

i freakin sad la..

no one care abt me i can sae tat lol..

i veri confused la..why my parents always onli noe how to scold me not my sisters?

i hv already try to change liao le can..

then the match on mon wif the cedar gals i can play..

i so so wish to play can..i wan to not i dun wan..

my parents wan me to study la dun wan me go 4 cca anymore la can..

n cos of tis i fight wif em lol..

n i dun feel any freedom lol..

cant go out wif my frenz..

no choice to choose anything..

cant decide anything by myself instead everthing they choose 4 me..

n i dun lyk the way they do it la can..

n i dun hv they courage to tell emt tis la..

wonder wad will happen if i ask em can!!

then 2day in skool..

i cried in skool during ss la can..

recall abt wad happen yesterday lol..

then the whole day my mood was lyk so damm moody lol..

i saw my 2 darling but we nvr chat wif each other sia..

freakin sad oso lol..

BUT i love you!!

dun worry i will be dere wif u de no matter wad k..

then abt me nvm la dun care me oso can de..

i onli noe i sux lol..tats true i think..

4 periods of A maths la..

then we do questions as usually lol..

n durin the break we wen to the disturb the art students lol..hahas..

then we play volleyball in MR CHAN homeroom lol..

play wif yen ton..ujjal..zhou..cheryl..zeb lol..

then i feel tat esther dun lyk her 2day la cam..

so damm quiet lol 2day her not lyk her usual self can

but she sae nth happen lol..

so ESTHER take care k..

n i hope tat u will be hyper lyk b4 not lyk 2day la..

cos i not use to it n i lyk u to be hyper..

after skool sth happen tat whole thing happen in the ava room..

cos we hv meetin 4 the KL trip..

tat BLOODY BITCH..

so wad u big size ar?so wad i small size ar..

wads ur problem..n helo u are the 1 hu started wif it k not me..

if u dun hit i will not hit back k..

wad the shit u doin n u still shout at me so wad if u use the book is still the same k..

then i free so so damm pissed la can..

Thursday, August 23, 2007

♥ 6:22 AM

i feel veri sad 2day lol..

frm trainin starts lol..

so ya la..why la can sumone jus tel me?

why does tis happen on me..

2day my spikin sucks..

service sucks..

recievin oso sucks..

all sucks la even me lol..

why tis why tis happen on me de.

i dun wan can..

can sth jus happen on me so all tis will not happen to me liao le?

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

♥ 6:00 AM

today i cry but no one noe durin CME..
n mr seng nvr cum to skool 2day..
haiz i feel so damm extra in the class sia..
i lyk no frenz lyk tat can..
durin CME..
i sit all alone by myself la can..
the rest all sit in their groups la can..
then wen i join em so damm extra lol..
so i decided to sit all by myself..
i cryin n listenin to music lol..
haiz why my life lyk tat de..

wad is love to u guys ar..
pls tell me k..
i really wan to noe..
hey wonder wen i wil be in love sia..
hahas..
hey guys intro more frenz to me k..
if u wan to la..
so ya not nvm de..
haiz gtg now liao le..

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

♥ 5:23 AM

20 Aug'07

we went to queenway sec skool la..

walao the skool is lyk much much bigger than our skool can..

then is lyk so damm cool lol..

i hope tat my skool is lyk their skool can..n

they have 2 volleyball court la can..

then the guys sum are cute can..

sorry if i abit out of mind la..

but jus sae sae onli la..

not i lyk em k dun get the wrong idea..

is naturally tat gals lyk guys wad..

hahas..then we play wif em all draw lol..

seniors n juniors 2-2..hahas..see>>

chij sjc volleyballers are powerful sia..

so ya la..so u dun cum n offend us k..

hahas..jokin..then i injured my ankle n my hand..

damm pain lol..

then weiyaya ar..

u ar fall fall fall..

i cum scold u if u fall again u look at ur leg ar..

u n esther the same de lei..

hahas i noe i oso k all of us lyk to fall so much..

then my dear mei mei angie make until her hand sia..

21 Aug'07

today i wen to play volleyball early in the mornin..

wif patty koko larissa zeb but ham nadia rocehelle carrisa gael..

hahas..

then recess at 1st onli me n zeb play my volleyball..

then gael join zeb so is 2 against 1 nvm de its ok wif me..

hahas

then i ask xuan sae dun wan but in the end she play

xuan n gael gd frenz sia pair up..

me n zeb pair up lol..

fun la..

but i think my relationship wif my team mates are gettin better not lyk b4..

hahas is true la..

last time i seldom tok to a group of ppl but now hv liao le lol..

hahas..i think tis is jus teamspirt ba..

hahas but anyway i love u guys lots n lots sia..

then i write alot of letter to ppl lol..

so damm fun writtin letter to ppl can..

i love letters ppl feel free to write me 1 k..

i will surely reply u all back de..

byee..gtg now..see u guys 2morrow then..

I LOVE MY VOLLEYBALL !!!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

♥ 6:19 AM

18 Aug'07

today is family day..

so damm fun la can..
my class sell hotdogs lol..
cool lol..at 8am i in skool liao le n i bring my ball.. we play awhile lol in the mornin can..

but my ball lyk no air de can..

then i giv mr send help me pump then he sae cant find it in e end nvr pump..

hahas..so damm sad can my ball no air de..

not fun to play lol..
then durin the process tat we are sellin do damm fun lol but tired lol..

then i took sum pictures lol:
then we do frm 8-11.30 lol..
so damm tired lol then we wen to haunted house to play we wen in 2times..

thanz alot esther yeo!!

help us pay 4 it..

hahas..not scary de lol inside..

but anyway is damm fun la..

but weiyaya u ok not bang the door..

ppl hu wen in wif me u all ok ma??

becareful la..then at 1st sum of us lyk freakin scared lol shout n shout lol..

hahas..but in the end lyk not tat scary can..

after tat sum of us start to play volleyball lol..

wen to e gym play..

at 1st onli:me..but..koko..ham..elina..

then after tat esther jaswee weiyaya gina cum in

and play wif us sia.

hahas..so damm fun but inside me not tat happy..

me esther weiyaya jaswee mee ling wen to compass est lol..

then we wen to eat pizza lol..

i spend until $11 lol jus 4 tat so damm ex lol can..

then i saw my darling n i chat wif her awhile..

she wan to giv me rose at 1st de then i dun wan it

call her to save it 4 herself lol..hahas..cos i think she love it more lol..so ya..

then we eat finish esther n jaswee siao de lol..

sae darling n honey..then after tat all of us wen to e toliet lol..

me weiyaya n mee ling we wait outside wif em lol..then they suddenly dunno go where..

we call they sae at 1st floor the we go up they cum down..

we heck care em then we wen all e way up lol..

after tat we wen in comics connection..sth happen in dere..

esther propose to her lao po..

esther knee down wif e rose lol..

hahas so damm funny lol..

i wil not 4got abt wad happen 2day lol..esther u n ur laopo..

but weiyaya so damm shy lol..

then i wen back home lol..

19 Aug'07

my i cry 2day lol..

cos my mum deleted all my files in the computer lol..

so damm sad lol alot of my important stuff all deleted lol..

but nvm la..mum its ok i will do em all over it again lol..

darling i veri e upset lol..

no one dere wif me tat i can depend on lol..

shoulders to cry on lol..

wad can i stil do..

i think wad i can do is keep quiet lol..

haiz anyone out dere to help me ma??

no one care 4 me at all lol..

now lyk cryin lol..hu care u tell me..

anyone out dere help me pls..

Friday, August 17, 2007

♥ 3:32 AM

4 the past few days i feel so damm upset lol..

i wonder how is one of my darling la lyk so damm long nvr see her liao le can..

and then sms her she oso dun reply me back lol..

and i abit worry abt her la can..

wonder wad the heck she is doin lol..

how is she feelin tis few days la..

no one tell me can..

haiz darling ar..

if u got anything pls feel free to cum find to talk to me lei ..

i dun mind de lol really..

i jus wan ppl to noe me cum to me if u all nid help la

PLS CUM TO ME!!!

if u all rite wan sum1 to tok to pls chat wif me in msn or sms me k..

i will surely chat wif u de k..

then 2morrow family day liao le..

my class sellin hotdogs la can..

then i feel lyk bring my volleyball go skooll play

but i think my ball lyk abit no air lol..

hahas but i hope tat mr seng will help me pump my ball lol..

i will be in skool abt 8 liao le ..

to help the class to set up stall hope tat our stall is the best of all can..

i really hope that our class make the most $$$$...

hahas..i noe i abit siao siao de so ya la..

my darling i love you!!!

godsisters i love u all too!!!

hahas..

i love the ppl hu noe me !!

take care all see u guys 2morrow then..

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

♥ 5:14 AM

13 Aug'07

durin trainin:

we play outdoor under the damm hot sun la..

we hv to run 10 rounds la..

then is lyk so damm tired la..

but i still veri high..

ithen we hv to be in grp of 3..

then me weiyaya jaswee..

then play play play..

i fall then i make until my knee is lyk damm pain can..

then i injured myself again..

i siao siao de can..

i lyk to fall down ar..

hey u noe wad ppl..

can call me fallin queen or split queen liao le can..(but i cant do split)

hahas..if u wan call me tat its ok wif me anyway..

14AUG'07

then lynda ar meimei ar..

u dun cum and hit my knee lei is damm painful de can..

and i cried cos is lyk so damm pain lol can..

haizz but the next time dun hit k..

hahas..i love sec1 volleyballers u all rocks my life lol lots and big time..

today nth really happen la is jus today i think i hvin mood swing tats all..

int he hall tat time i cry not cos or vicky is sum ppl else..

sorry vicky is not u k..so ya..

i love all the volleyballers u ppl rocks my life..

and i will not forget my 2 darling i hv lol..

i will rmd u all de..

and i will treasure tis frenship tat we hv all along..

so hope u all oso treasure wad we hv now..

dun wiat liao le..

ppl rmd to show more love n comcern to the quiet ones and the ppl hu are alwasys alone k..

mayb they are the one hu are truely to u we may not noe..

so ya..

I LOVE U GUYS HU CARE 4 ME!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YU WEN!!!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

♥ 7:26 AM

nth really happen la..
cos the whole day at home..
tats all lol..
sian lol..but oso no one to sms ot tok to lol..
haiz sian la..byee..

Friday, August 10, 2007

♥ 7:10 AM

8 Aug'07
do u noe wad u sae do hate me alot..
u sae tis to me:
no one noe u well includin ME!
and u sae this no one care or noe abt u..
wad abt me i do care and i noe abt u can..
I M NOT TRANSPARENT!
do i look transparent to u..
u tell me do i?
if i do pls sae..
i will not bother abt u ANYMORE..
i care la can i CARE lol..
i find whether sumtimes do u even understands how i feel la can..
ur words do hurt me but i dun wan u to be even more upset..
so i didn't sae anything..i noe u are damm upset tat time so i cant blame u 4 sayin all tat to me..
i dun bother abt it anymore..
i jus wan to tel u if u got problem pls feel free to find me and tok abt it..
i love u always so ya no matter how u treat or hurt me..

9 Aug'07
i wen to maria bay for perforance la..
then we put the make up all..
i took lots of pictures wif my frenz..
cos it is the last day we can dance 2gether la..
damm sad lol..and then sum of the teachers cried la can..
hahas..so damm touchin ar..they sae tat we perform until veri nice la..
but sad la i hvin fever tat day and i dun hv mood lol..
and then my darling(opy) not in s'pore damm sad oso..
haiz..now i damm miss her la and i cant sms her lol..
i think we lyk damm crazy can..
frm the time we go dere keep on takin pictures la..
but most of the pic im not inside onli sum onli..
sad can but nvm la..
if ppl wan to take pic wif me then take lol if not i jus keep quiet lol..
wad can i still do..nvm lol wad can i still do u tell me...
heck care la..

10 Aug'07
nth really happen to day..i jus feel sad tats all..
cos i feel tat no one care abt me liao le even my darling..
i jus feel the my heart is begin slash a veri deep deep cut..
nvm lol it jus nid time to heal tats all lol..
nth liao le..
2day i dun hv the mood to post..cos i damm upset wif myself..
i wan to change i dun wan to be trap in my world again anymore..
so byee..
i noe i cant make anyone ard me happy so ya ppl pls take care of urself..
i cant even make my darling happy ..im such a failure sia..

tis is the way u wan to treat me is it?

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

♥ 5:30 AM

this is the way u wan to treat me la..

so ahead lol..u jus tryin to hurt me lots lol.

tis is wad i wan to tel u tis..

no matter how much u hurt in inside ar..

once u are my darling always one la..

so pls u wan to hurt me go ahead lol..

i dun mind abt it anymore..

the most important thing rite..

is u happy can liao i dun mind im the 1 hu get hurt..

so pls be help ma darling..

u help help u can always cum find me de la..

i willin to help u can no matter wad happen in between us lol can..

i always love my 2 darling of my can..

u 2 are the best of all la can..

and my godsisters la..

no matter wad i will still be dere wif u..

wadeva path u choose to be alone or wad i will still be dere wif u to walk the path de..

i will not dump u all aside de..i will be dere to help and i hope u willin to share all

those unhappy stuff wif me la..pls share wif me dun keep everything to urself..

u will get hurt de and it make me feel damm sad and painful inside de can darling..

pls i wan ppl around me to be happy and i will be happy de lol..

u all sad i oso sad de can..

so pls pls be happy all the times..

i tell u wad..

even u sae u happy outside i oso noe u are sad inside de can..

pls let me help u along tis path u choose can..

ppl if u nid my help pls cum to me la..

i will be willin to help u all anyway..

and u all oso help me so much in the past now is the time 4 me to help u guys liao le..so ya..

pls promise me tat all of u hu noe me plspls take good care of urself k..

byee gtg now liao go study my lit liao le..

2morrow national day liao le so damm scared tat i dance wrong can..

hahas..and sth to sae im not pretty or wad the onli thing i noe im damm ugly tats all..

hahas..i pretty ur head la..wen i pretty u tel me im not i noe can...

sorry darling(sharifah)nvr sae good byee to u..

u noe wad i heard frm sum1 tat opy is goin to tranfer skool lei..

now how wad can we help her..

so damm sad if she leave i cant get to see her la..

now she not in s'pore la can go oversea..

how wad are we surpose to do now darling?

damm sad if she is not around wif us can..

i will cry de lol..

and u noe wad she havin problems now la..

we find time out see whether we can help her not k?

ST. ELIZABETH ROCKS BIG TIME..

we win 2day damm fun la can..

we hv inter house singin competition la..

at 1st i dun think our hose not goin to win can st emilie sing damm nice la..

hahas..u all oso rocks la..hahas..all the houses we rocks big time..

green red blue yellow houses all rocks k!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

♥ 6:41 AM

2day nth really happen lol..

but 2day in the skool hall damm fun la can..

ppl dance lol..damm nice la..

wonder i will be siao if i dance sia..

hahas..crazy ar ma..

the mr sim..mr lim..mrs chan..others more

dance ar hahas dancers ar u all funny lol wen u all dance..

nice try anyway lol..

DUN GIVE UP HALF WAY K

keep on tryin till u get it..

u will sure make it de..

darling(pei yun)

im so damm sorry tat i hit u at ur back so damm hard ar..

how is ur back?

ok ma so damm sorry lei..

i totally 4gotten abt it liao ur back sth wrong..

so sorry gf..hahas..my darling is gf siao hahas..

always love u lots..

darling(sharifah)

u oso dun worry i will not 4get abt u..

how are u gf ar..

all my darling are my gf..

hahas

Monday, August 6, 2007

♥ 6:08 AM

so damm stress wif my cca and my class matters la..
haiz i when i become the junior good role model..
no lol where got la..
wad my spiking...service?
wad crap?
i where got good can..
hahas..not cos i look down on myself lei..
is sumthimes is really no surrport ma then i can help to ma.
encouragement ar..hahas..i where got so good..
dun sae until i so good la..no lol..
hu agree la u tell me onli u ar..hahas..
so damm sian lol..
help if u wan to la..
help me solve things lei..
sumtimes i really feel so damm lonely in my life can..
i noe u wan to sae i emo again ar..
i not emo k for ur info..

darling so damm miss u all lol can..
so love my two darling lol..
sharifah and pei yun..hahas..
you 2 are the ones no matter wad happen to me always dere wif me..
i will treasure u 2 proper de i dun wan to lose my darling at all lol..
so rmd to take care of urself k.
dun worry so much abt me k..
i promise i will take care de..
slp dreams slp tight..
cover ur blanket dun catch cold..
to the ppl hu cum to my blog..

i mostly i will miss you guys big time and love u guys lot and lots..
we rock on k..i dun wna to bpother wad ppl sae abt me liao le..
i care abt u 2 ang godsisters and ppl hu care 4 me can liao le..
byee
kiss 4 you guys..byee

why this lei?

Friday, August 3, 2007

♥ 6:04 AM

haiz i feel tat sum of my frenz are ignorin me la can..
and i feel not belong to any group of frenz lol can..
haiz..why tis lei?
i admit tat i anti-social so wad..
sumtimes i jus ask myself why m i lyk tat de lei?
ppl dere is sumthing tat i wanna tell..
i lose hope of doin things..
no more confident liao
no mood in anything..
jus feelin tat ppl around me dun really noe me at all..
i noe im irritatin sorry if im i will not disturb u all anymore..
no one care 4 me tats the best cos i not worth it so ya..
ya im emo la happy..keep on sayin im emo..
fine la im a emo kid tat no one wan to mix wif happy now..
i no frenz ke yi le ma?

damm sad and lonely happy now..
abt u ppl hv done to me..
make a veri big change in my life lol..
so wad i noe no one care abt me liao..
the onli perso hu care abt me is myself..
all i onli can depend on is myself..
frenz i hv is still myself..
myself to depend on the hv a better life in the future lol..
no one wanna help me in this so i decided
to walk this path of road myself liao ..
i will not depand on anyone anymore..
u ppl jus wan to bring me harm tats all i noe..
u ppl will not try to share wad u hv wif me..
love corcern care..all..
4get it lol nvm i hv it myself i dun wan urs...

i lose everything in life..
wad can i still do u tell me la can..
i think i nid to find sum1 to tok to everytime liao le..
sum1 willin to be dere 4 me..
a shoulder for to cry on..
sum1 to cheer me up wen the emo gal is down..
sum1 dun look down on me "emo gal"
i dunno wad to sae now...
dunno how to sae the rest lol..
my life jus white and black now..
no life in anything..
useless cant help anyone..
hopeless cant do anything rite..
failure cant pass anything..
EVERYTHING JUS LOSE LYK IN 1MIN CAN..
everything lei..gone i think they will not cum back to me liao le can..

as wad my darlin sae to me jus now..
she sae until alot of time liao ..
tis is wad she sae to me..
so wad if her make me happy
she jus dun feel i happy..
she cant stand it
i noe it 4 myself..
see wad i sae i jus worthless and hopeless ard my frenz all..
sorry darling im really sorry to make u feel so pissed wif me..
wad my darling tell me is true la..i cant blame her oso..
why mus i always bother abt wad other sae abt me
why i dun give myself the freedom to chosse but let others choose 4 me..
i have to cum up wif my decision to do wad i wan wad i lyk..
and i should stick to it...
NOW I CHOOSE:
i will not bother abt wad ppl sae abt me..
i jus do wad i lyk wad i feel lyk doin tats all..
thanz opy..thanz alot 4 ur help..make me awake..
so it will not be to late 4me..
i will promise tat i will do it jus 4 u k..
thanz..love u darling..
i will not break this promise de..i will not de..
sorry to u anyway darling

2day:

Thursday, August 2, 2007

♥ 7:03 AM

2day i totally 4gotten abt my shoe bag lol..

i leave it at my common test homeroom..

and then inside dere is a class then i dun dare to go in lol..

so damm scary la i think tats the sec1 ba..

then lucky liz cum then i call her help mr take my shoe bag lol..

so love u liz thanz alot 4helpin take my shoe bag..

my shoe bag is veri important to me lol..

then i go 4 trainin..

2day so damm little ppl lyk can..

so not fun lol..so sian..

then 2day i keep on doin split lol..damm pain lol..

then jus now vanessa serve then the ball hit directly on my eyes lol..

then it hurts lyk hell can jus now..my vision damm blur lol..

but now and really tat pain liao le lol..

mrs wrong have a great tok wif us b4 we go lol..

she sae mus rmd this carefully la:

EVERY LITTLE THINGS CAN AFFECT PPL AROUND US..

so i think i noe im 1 of em lol..

hv to control my emotions la can i think im the 1 always cos all those unhappiness in my team de lol so ya la..

2day the mood i dunno whether is it sad or happy lol..

all my frenz call me not to slash myself la..

as i hv a thinkin of doin it lol..

but i think is harmful to me la i oso noe la..

but i hv reason of hvin a thinkin to do la..

the reason u ppl hv to find out urself lol if u wanna noe..

ppl can i ask u all sth:

if i wanna cry can sum1 lend me their shoulders to lend on ma?

jus ask not nvm de jus ask for fun tats all..

haix..sumtimes i feel tat me myself is such a

failure..loser..why lei i oso dunno so dun ask me..

i jus wann ask:

do u ppl really noe how i feel deep inside me ma?

mus i tell u all then u all then will noe..

or u ppl jus find out lei??

my darling ar take care of urself la..

call u take care dunno wan now sick liao le lol..

happy now..

u 2 is a mus 4 u all to be happy...

nvm if im not happy k..if u all happy i will feel abit happy de lol..

so i hope tat i can be the 1 hu can help u brighten up each and everyday of ur life..

take care my frenz now is the time 4 me to slp liao le..

see u all 2morrow..

kelli wu how is ur knee..im so damm sorry ar..

take care oso k..

importantly..

all volleyballers do take good care of urself k..

we hv to work hard to have sth to the skool tat we can do it de..

prove them wrong and not to look down on the volleyballers in SJC..

2day:still sad lol..

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

♥ 5:52 AM

why mus ppl cum spam my blog ar..

haiz..why ..they got nth to do is it..

4 fun ar..then cum my blog insult my dear frenz and esp insult my skool..

i hate ppl to do tat lol..insult me skool 4 wad..

insult my frenz 4 wad..got nth to do ..find sth to do la..ppl hu spam ppl's blog sucks lol..

why ppl always lyk to do this 2me?

sae things tat hurts me so much and my frenz..

haiz is it cos of me u ppl do tis to me?

ppl i think i dun irritated u all liao le..

i dun mind to be alone by myself anyway..

cos i used to tis life liao le..

cos frm sec 1- now..i think till my sec skool life ba..

should i stay away frm anyone now..

stay away frm the world beyond my thinking..

should i do tis so everytime i will be anti-social?

as wad i always sae..

my world onli black and white..

dark..lonely..scary to live in de..

onli me can fit in dere i dun think u ppl wanna go in and live wif me rite..

so ya..alone lol..nvm de..

seldom ppl care whether im dere or not make no difference to them all..

so why i lyk to bother abt all tis..

cos all i wan is ppl to noe im dere im not transparent de lei..

i sumtims i oso ask do they really treat me as their fren or not la can..

i jus feel lyk cryin always wen my frenz lyk so damm close to 1 another wen im not..

nvm lol..they will sae i mus be open dun be a anti-social person la..

no point de can i dun be anti-social i oso dun fit in lol..

so i onli stay wif the ppl which i find is better 4me..

lets sae my team lol..

ppl frm sec 2 n 3 i seldom tok to em oso..

onli tok to thee ppl which is the sec1s lol..

i think they understand how i feel la and wad i think sumtimes lol..

ppl which noe me longer dunno..ppl jus cum in noe me so much..

haiz no point tat i continue lol..

i wan to cry laio wen tis topic starts..

zebi dun cry liao k no point cry over it too..

BIG GAL DUN CRY ONLI SMALL GAL CRY..

i think the ppl hu carea more abt me are:

my family

godsisters

darling

they are the one onli i think lol..

no one else liao le i think..tats all..

sea byee to me my frnez the old me die liao le...

the new me is here..the loner and anti-social gal is born liao..

noe why i always think tis way cos ppl keep tellin me

im emo..anti-social..irritatin..dun respect me at all de ppl..

ppl hu wan me to be ard then awhile dump me aside dun care abt me lol..

is u ppl cause this to me de..which i actuall dun wan de..

i have to choice to be me lyk tat now rite..

anyone willin to help me to change do help me make my life a better place 4me..

make my life to be happy not sad..

haiz i dunno la i think u ppl willn oe hu i actually feel if u are in my shoes..

tats wad i can sae..

sae byebye to me patricia..

i noe i left a scar behind me wad can i do is jus continue wif the life i hv now lol...

wad can i still do u sae la..